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JOIN U US FOR AN N INTER PRAYE RNATIO ER MEET ONAL TING PR MO RAYE ONDAY ER M Y,OCTO MEET OBER 7| 7PM G M Hosted by C CrossBridge opportunity CROSSB Chosen People Minis e Church, this gather for our community to BRIDGE CHURC stries and ring is an r o unite in prayer, , CH, 10101 JUD Offer prayers ray r • During the me DGE WINIKOFF for peace and hea c eeting, we will: A A RD, BOCA RAT ling TON offering sup time. We we this moment will help stre to this trage commitment port and solidarity du elcome people of all f t of reflection and ho engthen our commun dy and demonstrate t to peace and under if uring this dfficult faiths to join us in pe. Your presence nity’s response our shared rstanding. Israel and all • Stand in unity affected by th • Remember th p y those impacted y with the people he tragedy hose who have be p of een g 561-73 Get our latest u www.cho ww | 37-1431 updates and resources at osenpeople.com ww.chosenpeople m Chos | e.com senPeopleMinist tries
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV). A parent is watching his kids playing in the front yard throwing a ball around and suddenly hears screeching tires as a car rounds the corner heading their way. Instinctively, the parent yells out watching the ball they were playing with heading towards the street and warns, “STOP, look out for the car!” That’s a simple act of taking responsibility. We are reminded that the Lord himself will never leave you, nor for sake you; however, we do have responsibilities as well. I was fortunate to sit in on a meeting last week, but I couldn’t help thinking about how we hear opinions that are so often repeated we somehow correlate it to being a fact? When I did hear it, as an analytic fact, it surprised me that it was alarmingly true. Shockingly, only 25% of evangelical Christians are registered to vote here in America. That doesn’t mean 25% of Evangelicals vote. That just means that 25% are registered, and more alarmingly, not many of those actually vote! Ok, you can read that again, please As I’ve admitted here on many occasions, I entered from the other side of the tracks. When attending Jewish synagogues, the rabbi, never fails to encourage the congregation to get and stay involved in the community, not so much out of civic duty, but more out of instinct for survival that we have a voice, and it should not be silenced, ever, and the dangers that go along with passive irresponsibility. I am a bit of a news junkie, and we constantly hear how the evangelicals are under attack, perhaps more so than those in the Jewish faith. That’s a bold statement. I feel the differences are that the Jewish people hear and see the threat and are conditioned to take it seriously, but the evangelicals show so much wonderful Grace we may not be hearing the epitaphs or seeing the threat? Willing to overlook the aggression because “God’s got this,” we are so often reminded, so our voice and vote is lazily silenced. Good, but not good. I am heartened when a pastor Doug, a pastor Rob and other pastors speak out and offer bold leadership, but too many pastors are extraordinarily passive to the point they would give the appearance that they’re disinterested and willing to let Him do all the heavy lifting: I get that, but I don’t get it. To witness: during Covid, we published an April 2021 issue of the GOOD NEWS and featured Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on the front cover with the cover blurb, “Florida Governor Ron DeSantis fought to open Florida churches and synagogues and Won!” Nationally that was an unpopular position at that moment in time, but we thought it was a bold move for our governor to fight and reopen churches and synagogues, pure and simple no other motive. We got blowback from a particular pastor that asked to have his church removed from our newspaper’s circulation, with a follow up email as to why he was objecting, feeling that “politics” had no place on our front cover. Fair enough, I asked a simple question: “Did you read the article?” He responded he didn’t need to read the article that he thought a politician on the front cover was a bad move. Again, no problem. I was curious and asked, “What do you think would be an appropriate cover in light of the fact that our governor fought to open the churches?” He responded, “Only one person should be on your front cover and that is Jesus Christ.” I asked, “12 issues a year?” He responded, “Yes.” We had a difference of opinion out of respect. I’ve also sat in on recent conversations in the church community with some church leaders, suggesting they don’t feel it’s appropriate to have Franklin Graham writing articles in our publication because he’s too political. Maybe so, but I can’t help but recognize all the good that Samaritan’s Purse does for millions of people with their disaster relief mission, anywhere and everywhere in the world. In a moment’s notice, they deploy battalions of people setting up makeshift hospitals in the middle of seemingly nowhere. I also acknowledge Franklin Graham has opinions, and I respect people with differing opinions as their right, and the right of leaders to take leadership roles. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17). Les PUBLISHER 6 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition South Florida Edition • Good News • October 2024 • Volume 26, Issue 7 Advertising: We reach over 110,000 readers each month. 80,000 in print and 30,000 via our online digital edition. Placing an ad in our publication is affordable and effective to help grow your business. Call us today! Distribution: Available in more than 800 locations throughout South Florida. To become a free distribution point for the newspaper, please contact Shelly. The Good News is published by Good News Media Group, LLC, Reproduction in whole or part strictly forbidden without the consent of the publisher. Copyright 2024. All rights reserved. Good News Media Group, LLC. PO Box 670368, Coral Springs, FL 33067 954-564-5378 • www.goodnewsfl.org Publisher: Leslie J. Feldman [email protected] Editor: Shelly Pond [email protected] Advertising & Marketing: Robert “Buddy” Helland Jr. V.P. Sr. Marketing Manager [email protected] Art Director: Milton McPherson [email protected] Associate Art Director: Joseph Sammaritano [email protected] Social Media Manager: Ariel Feldman [email protected] Editorial Assistant: Eric Solomon [email protected] Cover Photography: Justus Martin [email protected] PERSPECTIVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 What’s Wrong (with Me)? – by Stephan N. Tchividjian IN THE WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 Franklin Graham: Pray for All in Authority – by Franklin Graham PARENTING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 Three Invaders to Guard Against – by Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts THE CODE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14 The Win-Win Principle – by Dr. O.S. Hawkins MARRIAGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Buried Treasure - by Lisa May FOSTER CARE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Families Encounter a Movement of Healing – by Mat John HEART AND SOUL . . . . . . . . . .20 American Free Enterprise: Explained in Reverse – by Dr. Brian Strow YOU ASK WHY? . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Living in the Tension – by Dr. Tommy Boland COVER ARTICLE . . . . . . .24 – 27 Stronger Together: Church United Approaches 10 Years of Missional Impact – by Shelly Pond GOOD NEWS WANTS TO KNOW . . . . . .28 – 30 If you could choose any car to drive, what would it be? INSIGHT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34 Here and Now – by Rob Hoskins LEGAL Q&A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36 Restricting Employee Political Speech and Activities: What to Know – by William “Bill” C. Davell WE GET LETTERS . . . . . .38 – 39 COMMUNITY NEWS . . . .40 – 39 CALENDAR . . . . . . . . . . . . .50 - 51 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . .52 - 55 75% of evangelical Christians have not registered to vote. On The Cover Church United approaches 10 years of missional impact in South Florida, uniting the body of Christ for the sake of mission. Pictured Top Left: Edwin Copeland, executive director of Church United, prays with Church United patrons along with Scott Carson, EVP of operations at National Christian Foundation South Florida; Top Right: Church United Night of Worship; Middle Left: Bishop C.E. Glover, retired senior pastor of Mount Bethel Baptist Church, and Bishop Allen T.D. Wiggins, senior pastor of The Hope Church; Middle Right: Doug Sauder, pastor of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, (right) prays for Adam Greenfield, pastor of New Covenant Church, and his wife Nikki Greenfield; Bottom: Scott Baugh, pastor of Journey Church; Ben Pierce, pastor of Generation Church; Jimmy Scroggins, lead pastor of Family Church, and Todd Mullins, lead pastor of Christ Fellowship, speak at a Church United gathering. Read the full cover feature on pages 24 – 27. Photos courtesy: Church United - Leslie J. Feldman - Good News Publisher CONTENTS Good News • October • Volume 26 Issue 7
PERSPECTIVE 8 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition Several years ago, Hans Rosling and his colleagues, in their book Factfulness, made the argument that the world, over time, is actually getting better. The team studied ten specific trends over world history and concluded that despite all the bad news and the ups and downs, things are actually improving. Really? I was inclined to dismiss their findings until I overlayed their findings with the impact of the Church over the past 2000 years and was not at all surprised that the impact of Christians on history aligns with their findings. Christians generally have had a very positive impact on people and culture. However, when I look at our current culture, I continue to see signs of deterioration. It seems like things are actually getting worse. Have Christians lost their influence, and if so, what’s wrong? I am a Christian; is there something wrong with me? Reality check I decided to take a good look around me, a reality check, per se. I noticed that differences of perspectives and opinions are no longer civil conversations but venomous attacks. I hear a lot of conversations cloaked in “war language.” I see a serious decline in basic morals, a growing cynicism around leadership and institutions, a thirst for escapism, a rising level of intolerance towards one another, a disregard for integrity, a simplistic rush to judgement, conspiracy theories galore, a lot of yelling, a lot of anger and very little listening, all leading to broken and discarded relationships, often among friends and family. Additionally, I experience a shallow understanding of the Bible, which feeds a feel-good faith, which leads to a growing sense of discontent and entitlement. However, in no other time in history has there been more access to God’s word, freedom to openly worship and attend a local church, access to Christian education, Christian-based conferences, music, concerts, movies, podcasts and books. The sheer volume of biblically based content and community is unprecedented (just ask ChatGPT). I beg to ask the question, why then is everything so broken and seemingly moving backward? Is it a media conspiracy to undermine the Christian faith? Perhaps it’s the fault of the political left or right? Perhaps its streaming content filling our homes with bad stuff? Is it because of porn, preservatives in our food, an alien invasion or all three? Seriously, I am confused. I know we live in a broken world, and I am under no illusion that everything is supposed to be easy. Church history demonstrates this, God says we will suffer. However, I am under the impression that Christians are supposed to have a good influence on people and culture and yet, I feel that sometimes we are the worst examples of all. I am sometimes embarrassed to call myself a Christian. That bothers me because it’s like saying, “I am embarrassed by my husband, my wife or my kids” and that is never a good sign. I am at risk of an unhealthy perspective sprinkled with a lot of self-righteousness and pride…not healthy. Therefore, it has caused me to evaluate how to live out my faith. Am I misunderstanding what it means to be His ambassador? What is my example? Therefore, I found myself asking some hard questions about my own example. Here are some things that I noticed. Too many times I have taken my faith, customized it to my opinions, perspectives and wants, while sacrificing the very essence of what it means to be a Christian. I once heard someone make the statement that “a person is less interested in knowing when you became a Christian and much more interested in knowing why you still are one.” How dynamic and authentic is this relationship with Jesus that I have? My faith is not a one-time decision, a program or project. My faith ought not to be a source of employment, a political strategy or a simple formula for happiness. Actually, my faith should be a path towards weakness and surrender. My faith should be daily and often mundane and non-eventful. My faith is not about me. Stinking thinking I think what I am most embarrassed about is how I meddle in God’s story, and create my own false narrative, one based on my efforts and belittling His. I can twist and pervert God’s story and then have the audacity to get upset at Him when it doesn’t work out the way I had hoped. They call it stinking thinking. Peter was guilty of that, the disciples were, the religious leaders were, frankly, it’s a common theme throughout the history of mankind. I once heard a preacher make the comment, “we proclaim that we are created in the image of God, and yet we spend our lives trying to return the favor” – ouch! God’s story can only be authored by Him and He chooses to tell it through us. I am not the author, He is. Therefore, perhaps the embarrassment that I am experiencing is that the form of Christianity that is often on display is actually not one that reflects Jesus but more a reflection of my version of Jesus…and therefore it doesn’t have the power to impact people and culture. I desire to be an authentic Christian. Proximity So, what now? I believe it starts with proximity. I need to start by assessing my proximity to Jesus, because the closer I am, the more I understand Him and the more I understand Him, the quicker I am to surrender to His guidance, which leads to a life that reflects His. Haven’t you noticed that about your life? Sometimes the more you spend time with a particular person the more you begin to resemble them in behavior, thinking and appearance. My proximity to Jesus ought to reflect His beliefs and His actions. Reflections In my reflections I have observed the following: I know I love Jesus; I am a lover of the local church, and I don’t believe in an isolated Christian. Therefore, I believe that a growing Christian needs to be in a healthy community where the elements of conviction, encouragement and service exist. I believe a Christian ought to be contagious, invitational and kind. I am not in favor of legalism, but I am also not in favor of throwing caution to the wind. I am a recipient of God’s grace but it’s not a license to disobey. I deeply desire humility, but it seems so fleeting. I think a Christian must be quick to laugh but also quick to cry. I believe in a quick surrender. I believe in the power of steadfastness. I am not overly concerned about my legacy because Jesus will take care of that. I fight every day to remove myself from the center of my own universe. I am confident but certainly vulnerable to fear and failure. I believe the Lord Jesus is simply wooing me to follow Him more closely, much the same way He wooed the early followers to do the same. A simple, “come follow me” was all it took. The early work of Jesus required a simple surrender and obedience by His followers. The work of Jesus was not a humanitarian or political movement, and yet its impact continues today. Perhaps there is a simple answer to my question. Perhaps I am overthinking it. Perhaps He is reminding me that as I closely follow Him, not from afar, I will find that I will increasingly reflect Him, His heart, His character and His influence. A small group did this 2000 years ago and changed the world and that is nothing to be embarrassed about. Stephan N. Tchividjian is the CEO and co-founder of the National Christian Foundation South Florida. Visit southflorida.ncfgiving.com to learn more. What’s Wrong (with Me)? - Stephan Tchividjian - CEO and Co-Founder, National Christian Foundation South Florida
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10 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition IN THE WORD I recently was invited to pray at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee. I was there as a private citizen, and it was an honor to turn our attention to the Lord Jesus Christ — our only hope — and ask for His hand of mercy and blessing upon our country. The convention met just days after the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump at a rally in Pennsylvania. Hours after that failed attack during his speech, President Trump declared that it was “God and God alone” who protected him and spared his life. The bullet, fired from a range of almost 150 yards, grazed and bloodied his right ear. Had he not turned his head slightly to the right as the bullet whizzed by, he would not be alive. President Trump himself said, “I am not supposed to be here, I am supposed to be dead.” I truly believe that it was God’s sovereign, merciful hand that spared Trump’s life that day. Neither I nor anyone else can fully understand or comprehend the sovereign ways of Almighty God, but the Scripture is clear that He is in complete control of everything that happens in the universe. Our “times are in His hands” (Cf. Psalm 31:15). Just as the Lord can redirect the heart of a king wherever He desires (see Proverbs 21:1), He certainly can turn the head of a president whenever He wants. I believe this is a critical time in the history of America. After turning our back on God for so long, it is my sincere and urgent prayer that the Lord will turn our hearts once again to Himself in repentance and faith — beginning with lukewarm believers who fail to stand boldly for Christ and His Kingdom. I believe the rising tide of violence, evil, malice and chaos can be restrained by a merciful God who hears and answers the prayers and pleas of His people. That’s why it is crucial that believers intercede regularly and fervently on behalf of their leaders. “Therefore, I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior” (1 Timothy 2:1-3). As the presidential election draws near, pray for the candidates and those who are running for Congress as well as state and local races. Prayer is powerful and effective (see James 5:16) because it pleads before a sovereign, wise, holy God who “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4). If we truly believe that God is the only hope for America, then let’s go to Him in prayer like never before, but not merely for the sake of an election. The stakes are much higher, as the Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 6:12: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” ©2024 BGEA Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Franklin Graham’s Prayer Our Heavenly Father, we come before You this evening with grateful hearts. Thank You for saving the life of President Donald J. Trump. In his own words, it was You and You alone who saved him. We pray for the others that were injured on Saturday, and for the family who lost their loved one. Put Your loving arms around them. Comfort them, and may they sense Your presence. We stand before You tonight. We say thank You for the provisions You have given to the United States of America. You have blessed this country more than any country in the world. Sadly, as a nation, we have forgotten who is responsible for all the freedoms, the liberties and the bounty that we enjoy. It has all come from You. Thank You. This evening our nation is in trouble. We’re divided politically, racially, economically, with millions of people seeking refuge and hope in our dry and thirsty land. You’re the only One who can fix the complexity of the problems that we face today. We pray for President Trump, that You would give him wisdom, strength and a clear vision for the future of this nation and the task that is at hand. Continue to protect him from his enemies. I pray that You would surround him with men and women who will give him sound counsel and guidance. We pray for Melania, for Barron, and for all of President Trump’s children and grandchildren. We pray for Sen. J.D. Vance, his wife Usha, along with their young family. We’re thankful for his strong stand for defending life. As Your Word instructs, we also pray for the leaders of our nation, whether they’re Republican, Democrat or Independent. We know that all authority comes from You. You are a great God, and we ask that if it be Thy will, that You’ll make America great once again. And we ask that You’ll unite our hearts. Bring us together, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all, and we pray this in the mighty Name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Amen. Decision magazine, September 2024; ©2024 Billy Graham Evangelistic Association; used by permission, all rights reserved. Franklin Graham: Pray for All in Authority - Franklin Graham - President and CEO Samaritan’s Purse and Billy Graham Evangelistic Association
? facing these tian School Is your Chris a challenges Declining Enrollment • Limited Impact ff High Sta Turnover • Aging Facilities hem aft to t er ou to prayer. We re game-changer a th Partnering wi r school t ached ou swer and an CCA was a CA! by partnering with C gacy faith future and le ac l’s your s Secure y B operty efore you consider shutting down or selling your pr y, consider partnering with an organization that will allow you to keep Christian education alive and thriving on your campus and in your community for years to come. Calvary Christian Academy — Florida’s largest Christian school — has a 25-year legacy making disciples of Jesus Christ in South Florida. With four campuses totaling over 3,400 students, CCA is passionate aboutseeing more students transformed by the Gospel. Decreased Revenue chool y of f yp tion! Kingdom-collabora ef for this I am so grateful f ty. our proper y improvements made to gni cant fi i and s ff, and staff families morale among our f st in from 361 to 678, a boo ouble enrollment nearly d wood in 2019, we have seen Christian Academy Hollyalvary School became C stian Since Hollywood Chri al challenges. financi longed facing pro had been f h ty Churc Communi Lead Pastor, Hollywood Pastor Brian Burkholder CCAPartne e at: Learn mor erships.org
12 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition PARENTING There was a time that a father could build a moat around his family to protect them. If he had the resources, dad could build a trench around his castle and keep invaders out. However, in the past fifty years times have changed and the moat has been breached. The problem is, as dads we don’t realize the magnitude of the invasion. In fact, we have invited the invaders in. There are three dynamic modes of attack that have taken place to the peril of the American family. These invaders, in and of themselves, are not bad as long as they are kept in a cage. These three invaders all begin with the letter “T”. They have progressively robbed us of family time. Television The first infiltrator into the family castle is the television. Television is an asset of information, but unmanaged by the leaders in the home, however, has robbed the family of time and innocence. No longer do families sit on the porch or in front of a fireplace and talk. Nor do families sit around a table playing games. Instead, the television in many homes is turned on and the night is over. In the nineteen-sixties, the drawbridge was lowered and the television was invited in to become the center of the American home…often even invited to the dinner table. To blend dinner and the television we even developed something called “TV-Dinners.” The challenge with this subtle invasion was the fact that the programming didn’t reflect American society; it directed the American culture. Trends that weren’t yet the norm in the American family became the norm after seasons of desensitization by television sitcoms. Transportation The first invading “T” was television; the second certainly is Transportation. Transportation became an invader through the easy access of an automobile. The American family obviously had automobiles decades before the nineteenseventies but that was the decade where parents felt compelled to use their easy access to instant transportation to get their children out of the home and drop them off. Instead of sitting at home as a family, or staying home watching television together, the American family became obsessed with taking their children away from home and getting them involved in none-family activities. An asset like the automobile actually became a family liability, not because of the automobile itself but because of our inability to restrict its use. Instead of using this luxury to get each family member back together sooner each night, family leaders actually began using this piece of equipment to divide the family members from each other. And in most homes today, one automobile isn’t enough to accomplish this task. Technology The third “T” is technology. The technology that is available through computers and mobile phones has become helpful, yet if unrestrained this same technology becomes invasive. It is not uncommon to see an American family sitting together in a restaurant, each head down on their own phones. Families aren’t really together even when they are all traveling in the same car. One is texting someone, another one is talking on their phone, and one is playing a video game while another is watching the movie playing in the back seat. Each of these three “Ts” has great potential for enhancing the comfort of the American family. Through them we can stay informed, accomplish more and return home quicker. Our access to knowledge and mobility has been greatly widened. These three “Ts” should even be affording the American Family more time together. Instead, they have severely robbed us of our very precious and much needed family time. The majority of America’s families have actually become divided by these very advances that were meant to give us more time together. These advances no longer serve us, we serve them! Teach them how to say ‘no’ Now is the time for fathers or leaders of each home to decide if there is such a thing as too many “T’s”…too much of a good thing. The fact that we have access to something doesn’t mean we have to use it constantly. This can be a season where we decide to stay home more, save the money and spend time together as a family. This can be a time when we set boundaries for the technology we have in our homes. One boundary we can set is putting the phones away during certain times each night. Instead we are going to actually spend time together as a family. Teaching our children and teens how to say “No” to the invasion from outside the castle walls has to start with the leaders of the castle. As a dad, I have to put down my phone when I walk in the house, put the TV remote back in the drawer and talk or play a game with my family. If we don’t teach them how to be a family, why should we have expectation that they will know how to be part of their own family when they become adults? Visit parentingonpurpose.org for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. Three Invaders to Guard Against - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House Family Ministries
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THE CODE 14 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition “Though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you — being such a one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ —I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me” (Philemon 1:8–11). After beginning with the important place that affirmation plays in relationships, Paul then turned to what can be described as the win-win principle. This concept was made popular by Stephen Covey in his blockbuster bestseller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. But long before Covey wrote on the subject, Paul had already perfected it. In verses 8-11, Paul was appealing to Philemon to see how they all can come out winners in this relationship. Relationship models Some relationships are built on competition. These fall into the category of win-lose relationships. That is, some will only stay in a relationship in which they always win and the other person always loses. They feel they always have to take center stage, win every argument, and be in control. In fact, it is not enough that they always have to win; they are not content unless the other party always loses. These types of relationships, built on competition, never win in the long run because everyone ends up losing. Take, for example, a husband and a wife. He constantly orders her around the house. He coerces and controls. After a while, her resentment is sure to build. For years he thinks he is winning. But one day he wakes up to see she has had enough and is gone. And in the end, they both end up losing. This also can happen with parent-and-child relationships, when a parent thinks he or she has to win every argument, keep a thumb on the kid, and control them by withholding the use of the car. The child leaves home one day and seldom returns, and they all end up in the loss column. Those who play the game of relationships in a spirit of competition-the win-lose principle-never are real winners in the long run. When the final whistle blows, everyone ends up losing. Some relationships are built on compromise. This can be referred to as the losewin relationship. Some people have such low feelings of self-worth that they feel the only way they can maintain a relationship is to always let the other party win and sacrifice their own desires, hoping that, in turn, they will be accepted. They think by allowing the other party to win every argument and dominate every situation, this will somehow help them maintain the relationship. Relationships built on compromise, like those built on competition, produce little, if any, long-term positive results. In the end, both parties end up losing. It is difficult over time to maintain respect for someone who plays the relationship game in the lose-win arena. Other relationships are built on complacency. These can be referred to as lose-lose relationships. These people are really more interested in seeing the other lose than in seeing themselves win. Misery, for some, loves company. This type of individual is complacent, never putting much into a relationship and never expecting much in return. Those who play the game like this lose in life and will stay in a relationship as long as the other party is losing as well. But as soon as some good fortune may come to the other party, they usually go on their way. Sadly, some people have lost in life and have such a low level of self-confidence that they find a comfort level in lose-lose relationships. Like the other relationships already mentioned, with those who play lose-lose, everyone ends up losing. Complacency sets in and produces no real winners in relationships. Then there are those relationships built on capitulation. Having no relational resilience, these people simply quit. When things don't go their way, they just pick up their ball and go home. We all know people who get started and then stop. They have been involved in one relationship after another, and every new one is "the right one." But after a short while, it is over, and on to the next. For some, it seems easier to just walk away and move on to what is next. Like those who play lose-win, relationships based on capitulation never produce any results. The reason is obvious: everyone ends up losing. Another way some people play the relationship game is on the field of cancellation. These people never actually get in the game because they forfeit before the first whistle ever blows. For whatever reason, they never make the slightest effort in a relationship. It is impossible to sustain a relationship that never really got started in the first place. Sadly, through this type of passivity, others are kept from mutually beneficial relationships that might have been. Biblical examples There is a better way to begin and sustain positive relationships. Those who play by the win-win principle find cooperation. Win-win relationships are always mutually beneficial. This person is wise enough to know that if the other party in the relationship wins, he or she ends up winning as well. Or, as Pual said to Philemon, Onesimus “now is profitable to you and to me” (v. 11). The wise husband always seeks what is best for his wife and knows that when she wins, he wins as well. A mom always wants what is best for her child. At the office, wise managers know that if the company helps the customers win, they can stay in business. The most productive relationships in life are built on cooperation, the win-win principle. Relationships built on competition (win-lose) do not get very far before they disintegrate. Zacchaeus tried to play this game. Most of us remember his story. He ripped off others and played win-lose with many of the people in Jericho. But one day he saw the light, embraced a win-win attitude, restored what he had cheated from others, and ended up being the most popular person at the party (Luke 19:1-10). Relationships built on compromise (lose-win) don't get very far either. The woman of Sychar played this game. She possessed such low self-esteem that she felt the only way to get any attention was to play in the loser's bracket, allowing the men of the town to win by using her. But one day she met a Man at a well and learned how to play winwin. She went back to those very people and introduced them to this One who had changed the way she thought about herself And everyone in Sychar ended up winning (John 4). The dying thief spent his life playing on the field of complacency (lose-lose). Talk about a guy who had lost in life and waited until it was almost too late. But nailed to a Roman cross, he connected with his Maker, who hung on a middle cross next to him, and they both ended up on the winning team (Luke 23:43). Elijah capitulated. After winning the big prize on Mount Carmel, the next day an interpersonal relationship spat with a queen named Jezebel sent him on a journey of capitulation that ended with him in a cave contemplating suicide (1 Kings 19). How to win The point is, no matter how you have fared in relationships across the years, you can get on a winning team today. Jesus of Nazareth was not just some musty-smelling character from bygone days, a figment of someone's imagination, who is totally irrelevant in our twenty-first-century world. He is alive and can do for us what He did for so many in the Gospels. He walked around, lifting people out of their losing ways and putting them in win-win relationships with Himself. Paul found himself on Jesus’ team and passed the ball to Philemon — and to us. Now, how do we get in the game ourselves? In Paul’s letter to Philemon, he revealed four critical steps to the win-win principle of relationships. Step one: be sensitive. Step two: be submissive. Step three: be supportive. And step four: be sensible. It is time now to turn the page in the book of your life to the next chapter of positive and productive interpersonal relationships. Taken from The Connection Code by O.S. Hawkins. Copyright © 2023 by Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. O. S. Hawkins is the chancellor of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has served pastorates, including the First Baptist Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and the First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, for more than 25 years. - Dr. O.S. Hawkins - Chancellor, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary The Win-Win Principle
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MARRIAGE 16 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition As you know, Florida is known for the beginning of space travel and the flight to the moon, but many don’t know that Florida is also known for buried treasure, hence the name Treasure Coast. According to the Spanish Fleet Society, ships loaded with Spanish treasure off the coast of Florida and Cuba in 1715 were shipwrecked due to a hurricane. More than 1500 people died. Hundreds of years later, treasure hunters off the coast of Vero Beach and Sebastian discovered gold and silver. Early in the 1960s, treasure hunter Mel Fisher found some of the 1715 Fleet but much remains scattered over the ocean floor. In 2015, 4.5 million gold coins were discovered off the Sebastian shoreline. Fisher also spent sixteen years treasure hunting in the Florida Keys before it paid off. In 1973, he discovered the Spanish Galleon Nuestra Senora de Atocha, known as the Atocha Motherlode. It included 40 tons of gold and silver, Columbian emeralds, gold and silver artifacts, and more than 100,000 silver Spanish coins known as pieces of eight. The estimated value was $450 million. According to the manifest, they suspect that this represents only half of the treasure, with more gold and emeralds at the bottom of the sea. The allure of buried treasure has created best-selling books, music and movies: the stories of Blackbeard and the Golden Age of Piracy, the Netflix series Outer Banks, Black Sails, the film Fool's Gold, The Deep, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Robert Louis Stevenson's book Treasure Island. The quest for what might be found, the highs and lows, and the sense of adventure are exhilarating, and the discovery is thrilling. Marriage can be like searching for treasure Marriage and treasure hunting are much the same. The theaters, bookstores and streaming platforms are full of stories about our search for love, the adventure of our relationship, finding “the one" and the ecstasy of passion. Like Mel Fisher's investment of time, talent and financial resources in looking for buried treasure, the investment in our relationships and marriage requires the same commitment. I often share with couples that a vibrant marriage is sometimes like searching for buried treasure. It’s there; it can be rediscovered, but it requires grit, self-awareness, time, sacrifice and a steadfast spirit to keep going when the deep lows come. Like the ships on the southern seas, our marriages and relationships experience emotional summer showers that are stickily humid and inconvenient, but it doesn’t last long and the sun comes out. Occasionally, a tropical storm where it rains for days, seas and winds are high, and our emotions are like streets and yards strewn with tree limbs, debris and flood waters, but it passes, we pick up the pieces, and after a while, it's over with no lasting damage. But then there’s a hurricane like Andrew in 1992 with the threat of lost lives, property destruction and evacuations. We remember vividly that it became a marker where all was lost; people moved out of town, communications and electricity were down for weeks, and trench foot manifested. An emotional hurricane is often life-defining; a betrayal of vows or the death of a child can wreck or sink our relationships and marriages, break our hearts into thousands of pieces, blown about by the wind, and sometimes the richness of our relationship feels buried at the bottom of the ocean. So, how do we guard our marriages and relationships from a storm or the destruction of a hurricane? Unlike the sailors of 1715, we have warning signs much further out. What are the bad weather warning flags? Warning flags Do you work more than 50 hours per week? Is the cell phone a distraction in your marriage? Do you take your cell phone to bed? You often miss dinner with your spouse and family. You believe your marriage has fallen into a rut. Your work schedules aren’t in sync. You don’t go on regular dates. Your children take priority over your marriage. You rarely have sex. You don’t worship together. You don’t pray together other than a meal blessing. You don’t share a friend group with the same values. Moorings A vessel needs moorings to keep it secure, and our marriage and relationships need moorings to keep us afloat. Our permanent mooring is God’s Word. Spend time in God's WORD daily. Make time to pray together. Ask one another how you can pray for them during the day. Attend a small group Bible study with couples who share your values. Other moorings, such as a boat anchor or swing mooring, allow more movement, and some are temporary, but they keep us safe. Write one another a love note. Go on a date night regularly. Do something spontaneously. Flirt with one another. Attend a marriage workshop or retreat yearly. take at least three days away together yearly, with no one else. Share your wishes, hopes, and dreams. Have sex often. Even in a marriage that's had an emotional hurricane, there's buried treasure beneath the hurt and pain if you commit to persevering. Research shows that couples who experience the betrayal of an affair who persevere, with help from others, and repent with a teachable spirit after five years say they are happy they continued to dig deep for the beautiful, buried treasure of love again beneath all the pain. Relate Well Live Well (formerly Live the Life South Florida) exists to strengthen marriages and families through skills-based relationship education beginning in middle school through senior adults. We provide workshops for marriage enrichment and HOPE Weekends for marriages needing a deeper work. RWLW.org - Lisa May - Executive Director, Relate Well Live Well Buried Treasure
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FOSTER CARE 18 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition So far this year our 4KIDS articles have covered stories and ideas around the Hope and the Homes we extend to children and families. These pillars are often our first touchpoint in impacting lives by meeting urgent physical needs. If you’re familiar with the 4KIDS paradigm then you know we bring Hope, Homes and Healing to children and families in crisis every day. That final pillar of Healing holds invaluable truths, depth and transformation that reaches far beyond one singular life. Healing that multiplies I’ve spent nearly 25 years now serving with 4KIDS. In my over 30 years spent in child welfare, I can tell you countless stories about the disparity, pain and hopelessness kids are facing right here in our communities. We know that with access to Christ-centered trauma-informed care and expert-level clinicians, the emotional and spiritual wounds these children carry can be healed in powerful ways. God’s heart and care for these children and families is our guidepost, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29). When I think of the Healing I see happening every day at 4KIDS it goes far beyond healing these individual stories of trauma. What we see time and time again is that when a child experiences healing, that healing spreads to their foster parents and, in many cases, to their biological parents as well. Their healing is reaching siblings, friends, teachers and coaches – the ripple effect of healing has the ability to transform whole communities, even our world. One of the most profound ways we see this healing take place is through EPIC Trainings, Trauma-Informed Care Trainings and TBRI®Trainings (TrustBased Relational Intervention), all led by our 4KIDS EPIC Clinical team. For most parents, caregivers or teachers taking these courses, they embark imagining that they will learn critical skills to care for kids with trauma, but they leave with that and so much more. Here is what one 4KIDS Foster Parent from Hobe Sound shared about their experience taking trainings with 4KIDS: “TBRI and EPIC gave words and names to past hurts and triggers that we as adults had ‘swept under the rug’ emotionally. It allowed us to be honest with one another, using words and descriptions that, coupled with our knowledge of Jesus Christ and scripture, allowed us to heal and break free from past pain. The tools and training we received in these classes equipped us to identify areas that need healing in both ourselves and our children, opening the door to restoration and further healing and connection. We are so grateful for the strategies we’ve learned to succeed, equipping us to lead our family so well.” That isn’t just one child’s life transformed; that is an entire family transformed forever, and that Healing they’ve encountered in their own hearts will continue to extend to others as well. The same is true for teachers who attend trainings. Picture the difference a teacher can make in the life of a child who is walking into school each day filled with pain; that teacher is now a beacon of hope to countless children. We have teachers joining virtual trainings from all over the world. Our team has even hosted in-person trainings in Brazil, Peru and Columbia to extend these resources for healing deeper into our world. A movement of healing The fact that 4KIDS has the opportunity to offer healing to kids and families in this way is really part of a much larger movement I see happening in our Christian community. We see this reflected in 1 Corinthians 12:27 “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” Whether it’s EMA offering healing to single mothers, Live the Life helping to heal families, OneHope extending healing through the gift of the gospel, or Venture Cares in Fort Myers offering a mobile market that restores dignity while healing hungry families, and the list goes on and on. We are all a part of the Lord’s move to heal our cities, our country and our world. Moving toward people in pain and offering hope and healing is at the core of the gospel–to see it enacted in this way should fuel a passion in us to keep walking the journey of healing with those in need. I would encourage you to reflect on your own role in bringing healing to those who are hurting and even how there might be greater healing to experience in your own life and family. Please, be in prayer for the children and families who still need healing and consider how joining a 4KIDS training might impact your own life. Our trainings and resources are free and available online. Learn more about EPIC Trainings. Learn more about offering healing to a child through fostering. Families Encounter a Movement of Healing - Mat John - 4KIDS Executive Vice President
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HEART AND SOUL 20 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition At Palm Beach Atlantic University (PBA), we believe American Free Enterprise is more than a system—it’s the cornerstone of our nation’s identity. For nearly four decades, PBA has celebrated American Free Enterprise Day, affirming the values that have built American society and the principles on which the university was founded. Dr. Brian Strow, Dean of the Marshall E. Rinker, Sr. School of Business, shares how American Free Enterprise not only fosters the freedom to pursue innovation, but also promotes well-being and human flourishing. What is American Free Enterprise? I’ll start from the back and work forward. Enterprise: The desire to do difficult things or to solve problems in new and creative ways. In Genesis 2:15, God placed man in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. God created each of us on purpose and for a purpose. He wants us to do difficult things and solve problems in new and creative ways. Free: God granted us free will. He gives each of us a choice of how to use our talents and abilities. We can choose to use them to give God glory and to show love to our neighbor. America: A group of people in 1776 founded a country not based upon an ethnicity or allegiance to a monarch, but upon allegiance to a set of principles. They wrote: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator [so the system was put in place by God] with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” There you have it. A country was designed with the expressed purpose of allowing people to pursue God’s will in their lives. The US Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, freedom of speech and it allows people to engage in enterprise as they see fit. The result has been that the US economy has produced more wealth for more people than any country in the history of the earth. In 2024, the US will again set a record for producing more wealth than in any other year in world history. A study in human flourishing Also in 1776, in Scotland, a man named Adam Smith published An Inquiry into the Nature and the Causes of the Wealth of Nations. That was his second book written for popular culture. His first popular book was The Theory of Moral Sentiments. If you think Adam Smith promoted selfishness, you don’t know Adam Smith. You see, Adam Smith was a moral philosopher. He wanted to know why human flourishing took place in some countries and not in others. He wanted to adopt policies that increased human flourishing and made the world a better place. Adam Smith pointed out that voluntary transactions made between two individuals created wealth for both parties in the transaction. The more we allow voluntary transactions to occur, the more wealth we create. Human flourishing for the masses doesn’t occur by large magnanimous acts; it occurs by compounding large numbers of wealth-creating voluntary transactions on top of each other. The evidence is clear. There is more human flourishing in South Korea than in North Korea. There was more human flourishing in West Germany than in East Germany and more human flourishing in Hong Kong than in Maoist China. When countries allow people to freely engage in voluntary transactions, people flourish. If there is anything we should agree upon as Christians, it is that we should work to reduce poverty and increase human flourishing. Convincing countries around the globe to increase economic freedom in the last half-century has reduced poverty for hundreds of millions of people. The free enterprise system is responsible for more poverty reduction than all charitable giving done throughout world history. The system of American Free Enterprise is based upon the promise that people should be allowed to follow God’s will in their lives. In practice, it has created the most human flourishing of any economic system in world history. In theory and in practice, American Free Enterprise has stood the test of time. American Free Enterprise Day PBA is blessed to celebrate this pillar of American history. On Thursday, November 14, Palm Beach Atlantic University will host its annual American Free Enterprise Day, honoring three distinguished business leaders who embody the values of the American Dream. Paul Leone, CEO of The Breakers, will be recognized as the main medalist. Additionally, Kelly Smallridge, president and CEO of the Business Development Board of Palm Beach County, and Troy Maschmeyer, CEO of Maschmeyer, Inc., will be honored as companion medalists. This event is free and open to the public. To learn more and reserve your spot, visit www.pba.edu/afe. - Dr. Brian Strow - Dean, Marshall E. Rinker Sr. School of Business Palm Beach Atlantic University American Free Enterprise: Explained in Reverse
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