12 october 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition PARENTING There was a time that a father could build a moat around his family to protect them. If he had the resources, dad could build a trench around his castle and keep invaders out. However, in the past fifty years times have changed and the moat has been breached. The problem is, as dads we don’t realize the magnitude of the invasion. In fact, we have invited the invaders in. There are three dynamic modes of attack that have taken place to the peril of the American family. These invaders, in and of themselves, are not bad as long as they are kept in a cage. These three invaders all begin with the letter “T”. They have progressively robbed us of family time. Television The first infiltrator into the family castle is the television. Television is an asset of information, but unmanaged by the leaders in the home, however, has robbed the family of time and innocence. No longer do families sit on the porch or in front of a fireplace and talk. Nor do families sit around a table playing games. Instead, the television in many homes is turned on and the night is over. In the nineteen-sixties, the drawbridge was lowered and the television was invited in to become the center of the American home…often even invited to the dinner table. To blend dinner and the television we even developed something called “TV-Dinners.” The challenge with this subtle invasion was the fact that the programming didn’t reflect American society; it directed the American culture. Trends that weren’t yet the norm in the American family became the norm after seasons of desensitization by television sitcoms. Transportation The first invading “T” was television; the second certainly is Transportation. Transportation became an invader through the easy access of an automobile. The American family obviously had automobiles decades before the nineteenseventies but that was the decade where parents felt compelled to use their easy access to instant transportation to get their children out of the home and drop them off. Instead of sitting at home as a family, or staying home watching television together, the American family became obsessed with taking their children away from home and getting them involved in none-family activities. An asset like the automobile actually became a family liability, not because of the automobile itself but because of our inability to restrict its use. Instead of using this luxury to get each family member back together sooner each night, family leaders actually began using this piece of equipment to divide the family members from each other. And in most homes today, one automobile isn’t enough to accomplish this task. Technology The third “T” is technology. The technology that is available through computers and mobile phones has become helpful, yet if unrestrained this same technology becomes invasive. It is not uncommon to see an American family sitting together in a restaurant, each head down on their own phones. Families aren’t really together even when they are all traveling in the same car. One is texting someone, another one is talking on their phone, and one is playing a video game while another is watching the movie playing in the back seat. Each of these three “Ts” has great potential for enhancing the comfort of the American family. Through them we can stay informed, accomplish more and return home quicker. Our access to knowledge and mobility has been greatly widened. These three “Ts” should even be affording the American Family more time together. Instead, they have severely robbed us of our very precious and much needed family time. The majority of America’s families have actually become divided by these very advances that were meant to give us more time together. These advances no longer serve us, we serve them! Teach them how to say ‘no’ Now is the time for fathers or leaders of each home to decide if there is such a thing as too many “T’s”…too much of a good thing. The fact that we have access to something doesn’t mean we have to use it constantly. This can be a season where we decide to stay home more, save the money and spend time together as a family. This can be a time when we set boundaries for the technology we have in our homes. One boundary we can set is putting the phones away during certain times each night. Instead we are going to actually spend time together as a family. Teaching our children and teens how to say “No” to the invasion from outside the castle walls has to start with the leaders of the castle. As a dad, I have to put down my phone when I walk in the house, put the TV remote back in the drawer and talk or play a game with my family. If we don’t teach them how to be a family, why should we have expectation that they will know how to be part of their own family when they become adults? Visit parentingonpurpose.org for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. Three Invaders to Guard Against - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House Family Ministries
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