Largest Christ ian Newspaper in America • goodnewsfl.org • July 2023 • Volume 25, Issue 4
Be the one whose beat goes on. When Doug began having chest pains, he listened to his body and drove himself to the emergency department at (oly Cross Health, where he was quickly treated by their expert heart care team. Doug was surprised to learn that at only 72 he had major blockages in three of his arteries, which led to triple bypass surgery. “I noticed a difference immediately after surgery. I was feeling a lot better and that feeling continued as I participated in cardiac rehab,” Doug said. “I didn’t realize how bad ) was feeling until my heart was fixed.” Today, Doug is active and enjoying life. He quit smoking, watches his sodium and he and his wife work out regularly at the Holy Cross Zachariah Family Wellness Pavilion, where one of Doug’s favorite activities is cycling. The Jim Moran Heart and Vascular Center provides coordinated care for preventing, diagnosing and treating heart and vascular disease. Learn more at Holy-Cross.com/BeRemarkable A Member of Trinity Health Be always seeking, bravely fighting, forever hoping...
PUBLISHER 6 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition It was a privilege to sit in witness and listen to Pastor David Hughes assume the new position of Lead Pastor at the east side, First Baptist Fort Lauderdale, today, Sunday June 25th. “Before there was a Fort Lauderdale, there was a First Baptist” the website affirms a 1907 beginning. Yes, Pastor Hughes is also in the dual role as Senior Pastor at the west side Church By The Glades, where he has served for the past twenty-four and a half years. Being raised right here in Broward County, Hughes said he began praying when Pastor Larry Thompson announced his retirement from First Baptist Fort Lauderdale almost 10 years ago “for God to hear my prayer” and He did, citing he had no doubt God was hearing him, but as we know, it was on God’s timeframe and “God is always perfect.” The Service was seemingly much anticipated after the recent announcement. They were ready with hundreds of extra chairs until they ran out of even those, many stood and worshiped, praise God. God’s timing… We hear that a lot in church and for good reason, so how do we handle the need, anticipation, desires, futility, anguish? I’m not going to cite scripture; I’m an amateur, and we have hand-picked theologians throughout these Good News pages, but we are all involved, and we have to play an active part. My old theatrical musings would suggest we start with setting the stage. I am reminded of an early influence in my secular journey to set a stage - the simple discipline is called respect - when I heard a keynote address by Jack Valenti. Jack Valenti was Special Assistant to U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson. He was also the longtime president of the Motion Picture Association of America. During his 38-year tenure in the MPAA, he created the MPAA film rating system, and was generally regarded as one of the most influential pro-copyright lobbyists in the world. Valenti, I might also add, was in the presidential motorcade following the assassination of President Kennedy. That pedigree certainly had my attention. My recollection of the Valenti speech was amusing with a lifetime of fascinating celebrity and political powerhouse interactions, but my takeaway from his speech was a simple lesson of respect when dealing with others, understanding that everyone had a timeframe, a job, a need, and your own lack of that simple understanding is a lack of respect for others. Bang. I filed that away. Valenti said he demanded that he and his aides not leave their desks at night until they'd returned every call, every message, whether with an answer or a simple I got themessage and I don’t know yet, but I will get back to you when I have the answer. No exceptions. That was every day and that made for some late, late nights, he shared. That was well before emails and text messages, but the message was clear for a lifetime lesson. After all, as we sometimes wait on God for the answered prayer. We can do much to lessen some anxiety as we wait. This month we cover feature Don and Sueanne Campion. This was a slam dunk frommy personal knowledge. I had the privilege to travel to Egbe with a few friends in 2013, pictured in yellow shirts. I recommend reading GN Editor Shelly Pond’s interview on pages 28 and 29. I long ago suggested when referring to Don, he is perfectly visualized when spelling his name Campion by inserting “h” after the C. -Les On The Cover South Florida’s Sueanne and Don Campion, president of Banyan Air Service, adorned in the traditional attire of West Africa, stand before the ECWA Hospital in Egbe, Nigeria, where Don grew up as the son of medical missionaries. The couple has led a massive revitalization project that rebuilt the crumbling hospital and has garnered broad support from Samaritan’s Purse and many in our local community. Read the cover article on pages 28 and 29. Photo courtesy of Egbe Medical Mission. South Florida Edition • Good News • June 2023 • Volume 25, Issue 4 Advertising: We reach over 110,000 readers each month. 80,000 in print and 30,000 via our online digital edition. Placing an ad in our publication is affordable and effective to help grow your business. Call us today! Distribution:Available inmore than 800 locations throughout South Florida. To become a free distribution point for the newspaper, please contact Shelly. The Good News is published by Good News Media Group, LLC, Reproduction in whole or part strictly forbidden without the consent of the publisher. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved. Good News Media Group, LLC. PO Box 670368, Coral Springs, FL 33067 954-564-5378 • www.goodnewsfl.org Publisher: Leslie J. Feldman LJF@goodnewsfl.org Editor: Shelly Pond ShellyP@goodnewsfl.org Advertising & Marketing: Robert “Buddy” Helland Jr. V.P. Sr. Marketing Manager BuddyH@goodnewsfl.org Art Director: Milton McPherson firstname.lastname@example.org Associate Art Director: Joseph Sammaritano email@example.com Social Media Manager: Ariel Feldman firstname.lastname@example.org Editorial Assistant: Eric Solomon Eric@goodnewsfl.org Cover Photography: Justus Martin Justus@justusmartinphoto.com Leslie J. Feldman PERSPECTIVE . . . . . . . . . . 8 In-Betweeen – by Stephan N. Tchividjian IN THE WORD . . . . . . . . .10 Franklin Graham: Preach the Gospel – by Franklin Graham YOU ASKWHY? . . . . . . . 12 Supernatural “Stop It!” – by Dr. Tommy Boland PARENTING . . . . . . . . . . .14 Helping Your Child with Big Emotions – by Dr. Bob Barnes & Torrey Roberts LIVE THE LIFE . . . . . . . . .16 Marriage and Money – by Lisa May HEART AND SOUL . . . . .18 Uniting Faith and Pharmacy: Students’ Journey of Service in Honduras – by Dr. Debra A. Schwinn THE CODE . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 Never Cut What You Can Untie – by Dr. O.S. Hawkins FOSTER CARE . . . . . . . . . 22 Connecting with Kids – by Kevin Enders GOOD NEWS WANTS TO KNOW . . . . . . . .24 - 26 If you were to write a book, what would it be about? COVER ARTICLE . . .28 – 29 Campion’s Vision to Rebuild a Mission Hospital in Nigeria Connects Communities Across Continents – by Shelly Pond ENCOURAGEMENT . . . .32 All for One and One for All – by Omar Aleman LEGAL Q&A . . . . . . . . . . . .34 Where There’s No Will, There’s No Way – To Have A Say After Death – William C. Davell and Christine Yates VILLAGE HYMNS . . . . . . .36 When God Meets Us in Big Ways – Still Vol. 1 by Tim Ehrhart HISTORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38 Celebrating the 4th of July – Jerry Newcombe CALENDAR . . . . . . . . . . .43 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . .44 – 47 Stephan Tchividjian, Scott Sullivan, Les Feldman, OmarAleman inEgbe, Nigeria. David Hughes Jack Valenti East Side, West Side and all around the town…. C O N T E N T S Good News • June • Volume 25 Issue 4
PERSPECTIVE 8 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition Sunsets make you think it’s the end of one thing and the beginning of another; it’s an inbetween. I’ve been thinking of late about the in-betweens in our lives. The more I think about it the more I realize that our lives are littered with in-betweens. I also realize that there are different types of in-betweens, some more significant than others. Perhaps you have found yourself in an inbetween. Have you ever been in-between a job, a career or a relationship? Perhaps you have found yourself traveling and were in-between cities or even continents. In-betweens bring with them a whole set of emotions. I have experienced great excitement, other times paralyzed by great fear. I have sometimes not even realized I was in an in-between. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is an in-between… sometimes filled with great contentment cuddled in the arms of deep reflection and other times great dreams cheered on by the quiet voices of regret. Sometimes we use in-betweens to move to bigger and better, and other times we use in-betweens to live in the past. However, it’s important to look at an in-between, and there are many of them, and observe how God uses them much the same way a fine surgeon uses a scalpel. Mixed emotions I remember when Lisa and I were engaged to be married. We had been friends for about six months before we started dating. We were both young and eager to start our lives and had dated for about six months before we decided to get married. The engagement itself lasted about six months. We were married on December 28, 1986, and we now have celebrated 36 years of marriage. I remember the engagement season as a significant in-between. We were committed to each other as a husband and wife; however, we were not yet husband and wife. We spent much time talking about our wedding and subsequent marriage. We dreamed dreams, we talked a lot, did some arguing and tried to imagine the life that we were eager to get too. The in-between was not sustainable because its very existence was hinged on the outcome. There would be no in-between if we had not decided to move from friends to fiancé. I remember experiencing some frustration knowing we had not yet arrived but were well on our way… the in-between. We were free to change, abandon or accelerate the course at any time, however, at what cost? Thank God wisdom prevailed. God uses these in-betweens as teaching opportunities. Preparation God uses in-betweens to prepare us. The Bible is filled with stories of men and women living life in the in-betweens. In fact, the more I look the more I see. Moses spent forty years in an in-between. Joseph spent at least 13 years in one. Ruth, Daniel, Hannah, David and many others had them too. Jesus had several inbetweens. I think of the time from His birth and the beginning of His career. The thirty-year period was a season of preparation. He grew up as a man, respected for His skill and wisdom. He also grew up with a growing awareness of His calling, His purpose and who He really was. I think my in-betweens often do the same. What has God revealed to me as to the true nature of my character? How has my character, my identity and my purpose been revealed during my in-between? What work is left to do? Fresh perspective I have also found that I gain new perspectives during an in-between. I have found that in-betweens have a unique way of giving me a perspective of myself from angles that I typically don’t see. For example, when I’m settled, I tend to begin to take things for granted. Other times I lose my sense of wonder because it is what it is. I have found that I can get sloppy, flippant or entitled. Have you ever lost something only to realize just how precious it was when you didn’t have it anymore? Perhaps you never realized you had it in you until you were in the in-between. Have you ever said, I would never speak in public or write a book or start a family until you were thrust into the in-between? I remember thinking that the one job I had was the job for life only to realize a month later I no longer had it. I was in one of my many in-betweens. Today, I look back and realize that God allows the in-betweens to happen to better reveal His will and create a win win. I often don’t see God’s perspective until after… and that’s a faith builder. God has taught me patience during my inbetweens. There is something about an in-between that slows you down. I see things I normally miss during my in-betweens. Perhaps God is trying to help me see something different. Perhaps He’s protecting me from something. Perhaps I’ve gotten out of step with Him. The inbetween allows me to let go of the certainty of the past and the fear and hope of the future and settle in the present. I’m reading a lot about being more present. A few nights ago, I had retired to bed with a house full of family members playing a game. The noise level got quite loud as cheers, jeers and the occasional smack talk took place. Trying to fall asleep was somewhat challenging due to the noise level. However, God suggested I stop trying to sleep and savor the sounds, which I eventually fell asleep too. My in-between caused me to savor something precious. What is it that I’m missing because I’m moving so fast and trying to avoid the in-between or perhaps finding the preverbal short cut? Hope Finally, I find that the inbetweens are fertile places for hope. Hope acts as a compass for my in-betweens and without it the in-betweens become more of a maze than a pathway. Without my faith I am left to my own perspectives and inability to generate true sustainable hope. Therefore, I am eternally grateful for hope and recognize that the source of my hope is indeed found in my Savior and Lord. Stephan N. Tchividjian is the president and founder of the National Christian Foundation South Florida. Visit southflorida.ncfgiving.com to learn more. - Stephan N. Tchividjian - National Christian Foundation President In-Betweens
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“As long as the Lord gives me breath and strength, I will continue to preach the Good News of Christ’s saving power. 10 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition IN THE WORD Just a few weeks ago, I had the privilege of preaching the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ in six different cities in three states during our God Loves You Tidewater Tour. In every town, hundreds of people — young and old — responded to the Gospel invitation to make a decision for Christ and give their hearts fully to our Savior. I have preached at more than 300 evangelistic Crusades and Festivals through the years, and I never grow weary of seeing people respond to the Gospel message. Of course, my father preached around the world for nearly seven decades, and the sight of him, having extended the invitation, bowing his head in prayer and holding his chin in his hands as thousands came out of their seats to give their hearts to the Lord, will always be with me. We give God the praise and the glory for His saving power! Romans 1:16 is clear on what the Gospel is: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.” The Gospel is the power of almighty God! The evangelistic message that both my father and I have preached is, in and of itself, the power of God. The power doesn’t come from the delivery or style of the message, but from the actual Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ’s atoning death on the cross. It is the power of God unto salvation. When the message is proclaimed and preached, the power of God works in the hearts of those who hear and believe. That power is the regenerating and saving work of the Holy Spirit, who is convicting people of sin and righteousness. The Holy Spirit opens the hearts and eyes of those who have been blind and dead in their sins and gives them everlasting life through repentance and faith. Remember what Jesus said to Nicodemus, who came to him by night with questions: “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. …The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:3, 8). In other words, the Holy Spirit must be supernaturally at work for men and women to be saved. There is no power apart from His sovereign, saving, transforming work. When the Apostle Paul went to the riverside in Philippi following his Macedonian call, he met a group of women who had gathered for prayer. “Now a certain woman named Lydia heard us. She was a seller of purple from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God. The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul” (Acts 16:14). All of the women listened to the Gospel preaching of Paul. Lydia responded to the message because the Lord “opened her heart.” That was the mighty, saving work of the Holy Spirit! And exactly what is the Gospel message? Here is how Paul defined it in his letter to the Corinthians. “For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). Jesus, the Son of God who took on human flesh as the Son of Man, lived a perfect life of obedience to God, died on a Roman cross for the forgiveness of our sin, was placed in the stone-cut tomb of Joseph of Arimathea, and on the third day God raised Him from the dead. That is the Gospel—the death, burial and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. He put away our sins by putting them on Himself, and paid the full penalty of sin — death, even death on a cross. The wrath of God that should be poured on us as guilty sinners was instead unleashed on His own Son by the Father, so that all who believe can stand uncondemned before a holy God and by faith receive the gift of everlasting life. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23). There is no other Gospel than the Good News of Jesus’ triumph over death, sin and Satan through His substitutionary, sacrificial, all-sufficient, atoning death and resurrection. When theApostle John wrote the apocalyptic Book of Revelation, he described an angel “flying in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to those who dwell on the earth — to every nation, tribe, tongue, and people” (Revelation 14:6). God’s Gospel is so everlasting and powerful and supernatural that mighty angels proclaim it loudly to the entire earth as the Second Coming of Christ draws this present age to a close and ushers in a new Heaven and a new Earth where righteousness reigns. The Bible also tells us the preaching of the Gospel is a crucial component that factors into our Lord’s glorious return. As Jesus spoke about the end times, He explained to his disciples, “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14). As long as the Lord gives me breath and strength, I will continue to preach the Good News of Christ’s saving power. It is the means that God has ordained for the unsaved to hear and believe the truth of salvation. “How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent?” (Romans 10:14-15). In the coming months, I will be preaching the Gospel across Europe, in London, Essen (Germany), Rome, and Krakow (Poland); as well as in Mexico City (the largest city in North America). My son Will is preparing for events in Canada; Chişinău, Moldova (on the border of Ukraine); Curitiba, Brazil; and Idaho Falls, Idaho. The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation. It is the Gospel that must be preached until the very end. That’s what we’ve always done since the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association was organized back in 1950. Next year will mark the 75th anniversary of my father’s 1949 Los Angeles Crusade. May the Lord give us many more years, that we may reach as many as we can for the King and His Kingdom. Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Decision magazine, June 2023; ©2023 Billy Graham Evangelistic Association; used by permission, all rights reserved. - Franklin Graham - President and CEO Samaritan’s Purse and Billy Graham Evangelistic Association FranklinGraham: Preach the Gospel ”
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12 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition YOU ASK WHY Supernatural “Stop It!” “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Only when you know deep down in your soul that you have been saved by God’s grace and that you are loved unconditionally, fully forgiven and completely accepted in the Beloved will you stop doing so many things that rob you of the joy of your salvation and the abundant life that Jesus promised to give you. ➢ Trying to earn God’s favor? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to receive God’s blessing? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to win God’s affection? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to justify God’s acceptance? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to deserve God’s approval? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to merit God’s mercy? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to garner God’s grace? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to warrant God’s forgiveness? STOP IT! ➢ Trying to secure God’s love? STOP IT! When Jesus cried out from the cross, “It is finished” (John 19:30), He meant what He said! The penalty for your pardon and acceptance has been paid in full. Jesus did not make a down-payment on your salvation, nor did He make partial payment; Jesus paid the penalty for your sins and mine fully and finally. As the lovely nineteenth-century hymn exults, “Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe; sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.” You have been set free from bondage to yourself and united to Jesus, who is the source of every imaginable joy and blessing. You need not strive to receive it. You simply need to rest (many versions of the Bible use the word abide) in the reality of your redemption. Jesus made this abundantly clear by saying, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man abides in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). God did not save you by His amazing grace and then expect you to measure up to that sogreat salvation by living a holy life. If you are clinging to the belief that “good works” will earn you favor with God, allow Isaiah 64:6 to settle that question in your mind forevermore: “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” There is nothing you can do to earn God’s favor; Jesus has already done all that for you! He has measured up for you The unbelieving world tells us that we have to measure up in order to get what we are looking for out of life. “Be more! Do more! Become more! Believe more! Try harder!” But the truth is that no one can measure up to God’s perfect standard of righteousness, no matter how hard we try. The glorious good news of the Gospel is that Jesus has measured up for you and has already given you everything you need or ever will need in this life and the life to come. Our flesh is always trying to earn something, which is why we must live in the power of the Holy Spirit and accept the truth that we already have received every imaginable spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:3). You may be wondering, “How can I know this is true?” You can be sure it is true because of the cross of Christ. The cross is not only something God the Father did through God the Son in the power of God the Holy Spirit to set us free from the bondage to sin, Satan and death. Yes, it did all that, but the cross is the very essence of the reality of who God IS. God is not just loving; He is love! God is not just righteous; He is righteousness! At the cross . . . “Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other” (Psalm 85:10 ESV). Transfer your trust to Jesus And God did all this when we had absolutely no interest in Him. The depths to which God went to rescue rebels on the run from Him is as unfathomable as it is incredible. The Law says “Do,” but the Gospel says “Done!” You simply must stop expecting your obedience to the Law — your good works—to do what Jesus has already done. The Law was never intended to save you. The Law was never intended to sanctify you. The Law was given to drive you to your knees before the One who could save you and sanctify you. Transferring your trust to Jesus will empower you to stop looking at yourself to do, do, do and fix your eyes on Jesus, who did it all on your behalf. When we do that, we will stop trying to achieve God’s blessings as a reward for our good works, and we will allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through us to do what is pleasing and acceptable to God. And when we mess things up — which we will inevitably do over and over and over again — we have a Savior who has already forgiven us. If you have placed your trust in Jesus Christ for your eternal salvation, no good deed will ever make God love you more and no bad deed will ever make Him love you less. You’ve been trying and trying . . . STOP IT! Stop running from God and trying to hide when you fail, because Jesus has already nailed all your sin to the cross and cleansed it with His blood. Simply repent of your sin and rest in the reality of your redemption, because there is nothing in the universe that can ever separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. You have His Word on that! This is the Gospel. This is grace for your race. NEVER FORGET THAT . . . AMEN! Dr. Tommy Boland is senior pastor of Cross Community Church in Deerfield Beach (www.thecrosscc.org). He blogs regularly at tommyboland.com. - Dr. Tommy Boland - Cross Community Church Pastor
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14 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition PARENTING We have talked about the fact that in parenting the days may feel long but the years go by so quickly. We have but a few summers with our children before they are off to college, 13 or less to be exact, where we can be intentional to pour into our children. We can use these months to give themmemories as a family, with intentional fun together and vacations, but we can also use these moments to train. One of these areas we can focus on is handling big emotions. We may have more time to observe these moments if we are spending more time together and inevitable sibling frustrations ensue. In other words, you may observe frustration, disappointment or jealousy acted out in inappropriate behavior, for example, hitting. Yesterday’s child learned how to deal with emotions by observing family members. Children today learn how to express their emotions from many different “teachers.” Screens, social media, YouTube, peers and video games are just a few of the instructors of today’s child. (Intentional or not, handling emotions is part of the WWE curriculum.) Anger itself is an acceptable emotion. The Bible tells us to “Be angry, and yet do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26, NAS). Anger, in and of itself, is not the issue. We need to teach our children that emotions are valuable, but they need to be expressed in a godly fashion. That takes training! Seek the best teachers First, parents must seek the best possible teachers for their children. Teaching children to handle their emotions properly begins with an analysis of what or who the child is learning from. Parents should eliminate “voices” of input that are not good teachers. You, as an adult, might be able to correctly handle and filter through certain things imputed through various screens but your very impressionable child cannot. Model mature behavior Second, take a look at the way you manifest your own emotions. As a parent, are you prone to outbursts, or do you shut down and suppress your emotions? Choose to use your own handling of emotions as a training tool. Take the time to model this behavior. If you are frustrated and are overly harsh for example, model apologizing. Also communicate if something has hurt your feelings. This statement is not made to illicit guilt from your child, but rather to give him an example of how to properly express his emotions. “When you said this, it made me feel ____. I don’t think that is what you meant. What if you said it this way.” Choose to model emotional maturity. Set boundries Third, set boundaries for improperly expressed emotions. When a child throws a temper tantrum, shut down the world and work through the situation. There is an infamous story from when I was a toddler… “When our daughter Torrey was three years old, Rosemary took her along to the grocery store. Torrey grabbed a bag of cookies and began to put them in the cart. Rosemary promptly took the cookies fromTorrey’s hands, put themback on the shelf and told her that we would not be buying the cookies. At this point, Torrey arched her back and let out a pain-pealing scream! When she would not stop screaming, Rosemary gently took her out of the cart, grabbed her purse, left the groceries in the cart and walked to the car with Torrey. When they got to the car, Rosemary strapped the screaming three-year-old into her seat, got in the car and sat…and sat…and sat.After a fewminutes, Torrey calmed down and realized that they had not left the parking lot. At this point Rosemary told Torrey that they were going to finish their shopping and that they were not going to buy the cookies. Rosemary asked Torrey “are you ready to go back into the store, and are you ready to stop crying?” When Torrey responded in the affirmative, Rosemary got out of the car, picked Torrey up and held her until they returned to their cart. The minute Torrey saw those cookies, she started screaming. Once again, Rosemary took Torrey out of the cart, walked out of the store to the car and strapped her into the car seat. Torrey continued to cry, but again she eventually calmed down. By the third time they went back into the store Torrey realized that she was not going to win… and she gave up screaming. This scenario has nothing to do with cookies. If a parent believes it is about the prize of the cookies, they will cave in and give the child the cookies. This had everything to do with the handling of the child’s emotion of anger. It was a great teaching opportunity. Rosemary called my office when she finally returned home to tell me that she had just finished an exhausting three hours of grocery shopping. Exhausting, yes! Worth it, absolutely!” I observed a dad with a little girl once at a mall. She was having a complete meltdown. He patiently sat on the floor and waited. He did not give in to her impulse but didn’t react out of embarrassment either. He sat and unemotionally waited until she was at a point to work it through. Talk about their feelings Fourth, do what caregivers do not have the time to do. Sit with your child and talk with them about their feelings. After the child’s temper tantrum has been dealt with, talk to them about alternative solutions to their emotions. Sit on the side of their bed at night and talk to the child about something you know has hurt their feelings that day. Never trivialize the event they are talking about. There is something magical about being listened to. While listening to my children express their feelings of peer rejection and failure, I would ask God for the wisdom and the right words to say. When you think the child is ready, talk to him about a proper response to their emotion. Sometimes we would role-play so they could practice how to respond. When it comes to handling emotions, your child needs to know that you love them no matter what happens, but they need to know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior. They need to be in a home that permits them to talk about their emotions. Why is this important? The proper expression of emotions is one of the most missing elements in the marriage relationship. Screens instead of parents are doing the training. Impact your child’s marriage by helping themmature emotionally. Visit parentingonpurpose.org for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House Family Ministries Helping Your Child with Big Emotions
MARRIAGE 16 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition The ministry of marriage and families allows us to share the best and worst times with couples. Typically, most couples experience the same challenges framed through different stories, but what is increasingly common is the lack of pre-marital counseling/ preparation. Couples tend to believe they know one another well and are madly in love and don't have the foresight to pursue a class, program, or counselor to walk them through what needs to be addressed after the honeymoon living. Couples are often distressed because they didn't have meaningful conversations before marriage. Money is in the top ten issues of couples in conflict. Very sad and widespread is financial illiteracy, but that's not the main issue. Financial literacy can continually expand. The primary problem is agreement and understanding how the money will be managed daily. There’s no plan because there’s been no conversation. Most often, it's assumed. I recently had a conversation with a couple that had dated since college, lived together afterward, and married in the last two years. They bought a home and maintained separate bank accounts. The wife paid the bills before they were married, and now she has to ask for money to be deposited into her account continually. The tension is mounting. Ask these questions At the very minimum, couples need to have hard conversations and ask the questions: • How will we handle money? • How much debt do we have? • What will be our budget? Prenups have become increasingly common, so one of the most challenging conversations is: • Will we combine the finances, keep them separate, or a combination of both? Cornell University conducted a study entitled "Pooling Finances and relationship satisfaction." They found that couples who pooled their money were more likely to stay together. Couples who combined their assets referred to cash as "Our" money versus “My” money from couples who didn’t. They also found that couples who combined their money felt they were on a team, which promoted relationship satisfaction. Communication is key Also, couples communicating about money were more likely to avoid financial infidelity or withholding information or transactions from their partners, such as hiding purchases, cash, or accounts, lying about income earned, debt, etc. A poll from the National Endowment for Financial Education found 43 percent of adults have confessed to committing some form of financial deception. If you share a bed, you should be willing to share a bank account. Financial advisors say that how couples handle money tends to vary, communication should always be a priority, and a formal money conversation should happen at least once a year. Resources are available “Money is an emotional topic, especially when there's financial distress. The good news is there are hope and resources available for couples to expand their understanding of finances and unload the burden of being financially overextended. David Ramsey is well known for his teachings, Financial Peace. He provides a simple workbook and plans for couples to resolve and manage their resources. Christians are often surprised when they discover how much the Bible talks about money. There are more than 2300 verses on money, wealth and possessions. Jesus spoke about money in roughly 15 percent of his preaching and 11 out of 39 parables. It was his most talked about topic. Why? I believe it was because although we need money for survival, it's fleeting, and He didn’t want us to be enslaved by the lack or abundance of it on earth but rather to store up treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be. Live the Life South Florida exists to strengthen marriages and families through healthy relationship education, beginning in middle school through senior adults. We are educators, coaches, and pastoral counselors. If you're looking for a clinical counselor or therapist, we are blessed to have many in the South Florida community. We'd be honored to provide you a list of highly qualified and reputable individuals. Visit livethelifesoflo.org - Lisa May - Executive Director, Live the Life South Florida Marriage and Money
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HEART AND SOUL 18 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition One sunny morning in the middle of May, a Honduran woman walked into an eyeglass clinic set up by Palm Beach Atlantic (PBA) University’s Gregory Center for Medical Missions. She was browsing the options and stumbled upon a pair that she adored, but to her dismay, her vision was still blurry after trying them on – the prescription was not strong enough; she reluctantly settled for a different option that worked for her eyesight. A woman working with PBA rummaged through the eyeglass suitcase one more time in a last-ditch effort to find the pair she liked. Sure enough, to the Honduran woman’s delight, the very last pair in the style she wanted happened to be the exact prescription and size she needed. Samuel Statdlander, a student in PBA’s Lloyd L. Gregory School of Pharmacy (GSOP), recounted this story in vivid detail. “It doesn’t matter where you are, or who you are, God knows the desires of our hearts,” he said. “Somewhere in Honduras, God had in mind that those particular glasses, at that particular power, in that particular style, were going to be set aside for that woman who loved them. It showed me that God sees you, no matter where you are.” An inspiring experience On May 20, Dr. Chip Wight and Dr. Jocelyn Freimuth took five students to Honduras to serve the local community for eight days, offering hope and healing to those who lived there. While providing dental and pharmaceutical care, eye examinations, triage and more, the team worked tirelessly to meet the physical, spiritual and emotional health needs of the people. Gladimarys Grajales Aviles was among the five PBA students who attended the mission trip. The Puerto Rican native moved to Florida for pharmacy school after finishing her undergrad in chemistry. “I immediately fell in love with PBA and the Gregory School of Pharmacy,” she said. “I have always had a passion for missions, and when I saw that PBA combined both pharmacy and missions through the Gregory Center for Medical Missions, I knew it was the place for me.” During their trip, the team visited some of the locals living in the mountains of Honduras, hoping to bring care to those in need. Aviles recalled that day, describing the home of a particular Honduran woman. She lived in a brick house with four walls. It did not have a roof, doors, or a bed – just a chair and a blanket. “It was basically four walls and cement,” said Aviles. “However, this woman was the happiest person I have ever seen in my life. Her joy radiated through her, even though she had nothing. When we asked her about her joy, she told us, ‘I have everything I need because I have Christ.’ I have never been more inspired by someone’s faith.” Implementing servant leadership Isaac Tapia decided he wanted to become a pharmacist while bagging groceries at Publix. He was in eighth grade working as a bagger when he saw a customer go into anaphylactic shock. The pharmacist on shift administered the EpiPen, saving the customer’s life. Tapia was captivated, and in his senior year of high school he began working in the pharmacy department at Publix. Years later, Tapia found himself in his fourth year of pharmacy school and attending his first medical mission trip with PBA. Tapia spoke about the life changing experiences the team encountered on the trip to Honduras, and he said he would highly encourage other students to consider attending if at all possible. “We learn about implementing servant leadership and faith into our work almost daily in class, but it can be hard to picture in a real-world scenario. I will be counseling a patient on medication, and I often question how I can integrate my faith into that conversation,” Tapia said. “I think everyone should go on a mission trip because it showed me how to integrate faith and work in the real world. It was the first time I was able to give recommendations on different therapies, and after it was all done, I was able to pray over my patients.” Despite the language barriers, cultural and economic differences, the Lord transformed lives on this trip. Our students returned re-energized and on fire for the Lord after witnessing the resilience of the Honduran community. PBA’s medical mission trips provide students with a global perspective as they go into impoverished communities to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Additionally, it gives them an opportunity to practice the Christlike, servant leadership we try to instill in them daily. Dr. Debra A. Schwinn, a physician, researcher and innovator, is president of Palm Beach Atlantic University. (www.pba.edu) - Dr. Debra A. Schwinn - Palm Beach Atlantic University President Left to right: Samuel Stadtlander, Marquita Williams, Kiara Williams, Gladimarys Aviles, Dr. Chip Wright, Dr. Jocelyn Freimuth and Isaac Tapia. Uniting Faith and Pharmacy: Students’ Journey of Service in Honduras
THE CODE 20 JULY 2023 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition During my childhood days, we had a vacant lot that became the gathering place for all the neighborhood kids. We had some great ball games on that old vacant lot. It was likeYankee Stadium tome and my pals on Crenshaw Street. Recently, I drove through that old neighborhood on the east side of Fort Worth, Texas. The houses and yards that once were somanicured and pristine aremostly unkempt and in disrepair these days. In fact, several of the houses on my block are vacant and boarded up, and the ones still inhabited have iron bars over their windows and doors. But the old vacant lot is still there in all its former glory. As I parked in front of it, a thousand memories flooded my mind. There was one particular kid on our street who always showed up at the lot to play ball with us. He always wore black high-top canvas tennis shoes laced only about halfway up, leaving several empty eyelets at the top of his shoes. In the library of people I have known who were impatient, this kid was way up there on the top shelf. When his shoelaces became knotted, he never took the time, nor had the patience, to sit down and patiently work the knots out so the laces could be untied. He would ceremoniously take out his little pocketknife and cut the knot off, taking with it several inches of shoestrings. Thus, his shoes never had enough laces to reach all the way to the top. Rebuilders While reading and studying the fifth chapter of Nehemiah—who led the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem — I thought about that kid and came to this conclusion: rebuilders never cut what they can untie. Think about that statement. Rebuilders patiently work through the knots of interpersonal relationships instead of just cutting themoff and going about life. They take their time, making sure the knots are untied in such a way that they can be tied once again. It is a fact: rebuilders never cut what they can untie. Conflict resolution is a hot topic these days, in both the business world and the social arena. And it should be. Conflict can tear a team apart—whether it is in the home, at the office, on the court, or even in the church. Unresolved conflict can do irreparable damage. Here is another fact: wherever you find two people, you also often find the need for effective conflict resolution. Some men and women have lost their jobs because they never discovered the secrets of conflict resolution. They simply move their way through life, continually cutting off what they could have easily untied. I know churches that have split right down the middle because of this. As a pastor, I have watched homes break up because too many husbands and wives found it easier to simply cut away what could have been untied with some effort. Yes, disagreements are inevitable in life, but they don’t have to be destructive. Nehemiah 5 finds the Jews faced with the very real possibility that the wall might not be rebuilt due to some conflicts that had arisen between members of Nehemiah’s own team. The success of our own rebuilding projects is largely determined by the manner inwhichwe learn to resolve the conflicts that come knocking. We can do everything else according to plan. However, if we continue to cut what we could be untying, we will never see our own rebuilding process through to successful completion. This is also true with those who are seeking to rebuild broken relationships. Relationships, like shoelaces, can be tied again if they are not severed. If we have any hope of rebuilding, we must leave our pocketknives in our pockets and avoid the temptation to whip them out and lop off the gnarled knots of twisted relationships. Successful rebuilders know this. When tensions build up, it takes patience and perseverance, determination and dedication to untie tense situations. And these are exactly the sorts of skills we are about to observe Nehemiah using. Nehemiah The story unfolds before us in the early verses of chapter 5 when the people stopped their work on the wall and began arguing with one another. At the same time, they were stacking up a physical wall around Jerusalem, they were also stacking up an invisible wall of resentment between themselves. Nehemiah was then faced with an escalating situation that threatened to quickly spiral out of control and divert the focus of rebuilding. The conflict that arose was precipitated by a severe famine that forced many of the workers to mortgage their homes and belongings (5:3). Taxes were choking the very life and sustenance out of them (5:4). And, if that were not bad enough, their own Jewish brothers, who had loaned them money in their time of need, were charging themoutlandish interest rates on their loans, making themvirtually impossible to repay. As one can imagine, this was wreaking havoc on the morale of the rebuilders along the wall. It is no wonder that Nehemiah became “very angry” (5:6). The situation desperately needed someone skilled in the art of conflict resolution. Because if this conflict could not be resolved, the ultimate goal of rebuilding the broken wall would never be accomplished. It was a critical time in the entire rebuilding effort. Nehemiah knew this was no time to cut what could be untied. This skillful people person began to untie the knots of conflict and resolve the problems so that everyone could get back to the task of rebuilding. This led to the ultimate conclusion we find in Nehemiah 6:15, “So the wall was finished… in fifty-two days.” In chapter 5, Nehemiah systematically demonstrates four valuable principles that, when put into practice, can have the same positive results in our own experience that they had in his. Long centuries before any of the modern motivational gurus wrote on conflict resolution, Nehemiah employed four essential and now time-tested elements of conflict resolution: • There is a time to back off. • There is a time to stand up. • There is a time to give in. • There is a time to reach out. You will never find successful rebuilders cutting what you can untie, because they know… it’s never too late for a new beginning! Taken from The Nehemiah Code by O.S. Hawkins. Copyright © 2018 by Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. O. S. Hawkins is the chancellor of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has served pastorates, including the First Baptist Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and the First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, for more than 25 years. A native of Fort Worth, Texas, he has a BBA from Texas Christian University and his MDiv and Ph.D. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. For almost a quarter of a century, he served as president of GuideStone Financial Resources, with assets under management of $20 billion, serving 250,000 pastors, church staff members, missionaries, doctors, university professors, and other workers in various Christian organizations with their investment, retirement and benefit service needs. He is the author of more than 40 books, and regularly speaks to business groups and churches all across the nation. All of the author’s royalties and proceeds from the entire Code series go to support Mission:Dignity. You can learn more about Mission:Dignity by visiting MissionDignity.org. - Dr. O.S. Hawkins - President, Guidestone Financial Resources Never Cut What You Can Untiewww.goodnewsfl.org