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GoodNewsFL.org
August 2017 17
LIFEPOINTS
Dr. Gary Hewins
Lifepoints President
“I am not a smart man Jenny,
but I know what love is,” said the
fairly, simple-minded Forrest
Gump. Who would disagree that
living our lives in love is the most
important calling upon each of
us?Maybe Forrest Gump did have
it figured out, but I am not sure I
have quite mastered living a life of
love. I am a work in progress. How
about you?
The very subject of love has
its challenges. Love means so
many different things to each of
us. We each were “taught” love
as a child and we each “caught”
love as a child. Our definition of
love varies. Some people started
out thinking love was something
to be defined in the context of a
dysfunctional and at times toxic
family environment. Others only
wish they had a family. Others
came up in a fairly-functional
nurturing environment. So here
is the problem…when we each
say, “I love you,” we actually mean
different things. So, how do we
get on the same page?
Eros
First, we must understand
that there is a “love” between
people that the Greek language
defines as eros love. The under-
belly of eros love says, “I want, I
need, I desire and I deserve.” Eros
love reaches up to pull others
down, so they can basically meet
our personal needs. Eros love
says, “I, me, my and mine” and is
concerned with others second.
Eros love is what many long for
because it temporarily fills voids
in our lives. We all have eros love
within us on some level whether
we admit it or not. If you think
you are void of an eros type of
love then you are making my
point. Eros love denies such an
admission. Eros love is something
that is exclusively exchanged only
between imperfect people. Eros
love is an attempt to solve the
human dilemma with something
that sounds and feels good but
doesn’t quite get the job done.
Agape
There is another word for
love in the Greek language that
remained hidden in the dictio-
nary for many years. Nobody
seemed to be aware of it or ever
used the word “agape” for love.
Agape love reaches out and pulls
others in. Agape love reaches
down and pulls people up. An
eros love takes and an agape love
gives. Agape love is sacrificial,
selfless, patient and kind and is
without envy.
When a man and a woman
share their wedding vows, an
agape love is assumed. Many get
married with an eros love only
to later realize that it isn’t strong
enough to keep the vows. An
eros love won’t hold up when the
storms come. Eros isn’t supposed
to keep a couple together and it
doesn’t. Most divorces take place
because of a presence of eros love
and an absence of agape love and
a misunderstanding of the differ-
ences. We say, “I love you” and
that is supposed to be enough.
Eros leads to pain for many. Agape
leads to restoration for many.
When
Jesus
began
to
teach, he used this unused word
“agape” for love. People must
have been perplexed. Maybe you
are perplexed about this love as
well. If you need some of this
agape love to share with others, I
know where it can be found and
enjoyed. Agape love only comes
from Christ. He is the only one
who possesses agape love. In
fact, he is agape love. He doesn’t
talk about agape love; he demon-
strates it. He reaches down to
grab your hand to pull you up. He
reaches out to pull you in closer.
Christ is patient with you and kind
towards you. Those around you
want and need an agape love from
you. What will you give them?
Will you give them a temporary,
semi-selfish conditional love or
an eternal, unconditional, sacrifi-
cial love rooted and established in
your friendship with Christ?
One love will only get you
by for a season…the other love
will radically transform your rela-
tionships. What do you want to
receive and share…an eros love
or an agape love? It is your high
calling for your life. How do you
want to live it? Human imperfect
love leaves you wanting and
unsatisfied. God’s love propels
you forward into reaching out and
pulling up. It’s your life…Christ or
no Christ? Eros or agape? Check
out 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 and ask
yourself if you want the faith to
believe God for the even greater
love.
Dr. Gary Hewins is the
President of Lifepoints, a
coaching
and
consulting
ministry to ministry leaders and
preachers and the Senior Pastor
of Community Bible Church in
the picturesque mountains of
Highlands, North Carolina.
Did Forrest Gump Get It Right?
- Dr. Gary Hewins -
Lifepoints President