Good News - May 2022

Largest Christian Newspaper in America • • May 2022 • Volume 24, Issue 2

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On The Cover Good News recognized Women of Distinction 2022 during an exclusive cover photo shoot at the prestigious Tower Club overlooking the majestic Fort Lauderdale skyline. Pictured from left to right: Elizabeth Mitchell, Boca Raton Community Church; yvokia a. Davidson, New Mount Olive Baptist Church; Gita Santangelo, community prayer partner; Leketia Barner Dozier, Esq., The Worldwide Christian Center, and (not pictured) Dede Lomenick, Rio Vista Community Church. Read the cover feature on pages 28 – 29 to learn more about these outstanding women of faith. Photo by Justus Martin. PUBLISHER 6 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition Our similarities are very different. Which may seem peculiar, but I find myself saying that a lot over the last number of years because when you endeavor to constantly improve on good things, there is no need to reinvent the wheel, as it were. I was never a fan of Frank Zappa. In fact, I didn’t like him or his music, but he was impactful in the music scene when I was young, and that was a major social avenue to what I hoped to pursue in some form. Zappa was credited with forming a band “Mothers.” As legend has it, the record company suits said you can’t be called that, so as a new band in need of a record company contract, Frank Zappa relented and became “Mothers of Invention.” So, what does that have to do with anything you ask? Last year the GOOD NEWS embarked on a new thematic feature; you may notice we do that with regularity. The month of May features “Mother’s Day,” and we wanted to honor significant women, many of whom were more recognized for their behind the scenes role, and offer them the spotlight they richly deserve to be recognized as leaders in their own right. This year, our similarities to Mother’s Day would become differently presented and become an annual feature “Women of Distinction,” realizing just how blessed we are and how many significant women we have in our village. Close to home, I asked our Editor Shelly Pond (my vote usually carries a lot of weight in these parts) to take a position as one such woman on our front cover feature along with her peers. She declined, using some such nonsense as “conflict of interest,” saying she wouldn’t feel right about it. Ms. Pond, if I may take a moment of our readers’ time, is knee deep as confidant, confessor, interviewer, activist, pacifist, schlepper, editor and doer of all things life, including successfully battling cancer, overcoming a broken knee cap at a cover photo shoot and serving as a heavy family prayer warrior to her immediate family, siblings and parents without missing a beat. Qualifications of a Woman of Distinction? She’s got the goods on any team and that’s Good News for our community! The four distinguished women: Elizabeth Mitchell, Yvokia Davidson, Gita Santangelo and Leketia Barner Dozier, grace this month’s cover taken by expert photojournalist Justus Martin. Our fifthWoman of Distinction, Dede Lomenick was unfortunately unable to attend the photo shoot due to a sudden death in the family but is featured inside. Please read the cover article on pages 28-29 about these remarkable women. Well done good and faithful servants! Special shout out to Jayne Stewart at the Tower Club, Fort Lauderdale, for their excellent accommodations and her delightful attitude. To our readers: Suggestions and nominations are now open for next year’s candidates, please submit to: [email protected] Blessings and Happy Mother’s Day Les South Florida Edition • Good News • April 2022 • Volume 24, Issue 2 Advertising: We reach over 110,000 readers each month. 80,000 in print and 30,000 via our online digital edition. Placing an ad in our publication is affordable and effective to help grow your business. Call us today! Distribution: Available inmore than 800 locations throughout South Florida. To become a free distribution point for the newspaper, please contact Shelly. The Good News is published by Good News Media Group, LLC, Reproduction in whole or part strictly forbidden without the consent of the publisher. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved. Good News Media Group, LLC. PO Box 670368, Coral Springs, FL 33067 954-564-5378 • Publisher: Leslie J. Feldman [email protected] Editor: Shelly Pond [email protected] Art Director: Milton McPherson [email protected] Advertising & Marketing: Robert “Buddy” Helland Jr. V.P. Sr. Marketing Manager [email protected] Al Lehman Sr. Marketing Director [email protected] Vice President: Michael Denker Corporate Engagement [email protected] Social Media Manager: Ariel Feldman [email protected] Editorial Assistant: Eric Solomon [email protected] Cover Photography: Justus Martin [email protected] Women of Distinction PERSPECTIVE . . . . . . . . . . . .8 Meanwhile – by Stephan N. Tchividjian IN THEWORD . . . . . . . . . .10 Franklin Graham: Pray for Ukraine – by Franklin Graham OPINION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 The Road Less Traveled by – Newton Fairweather PARENTING . . . . . . . . . . . .14 Marking Major Milestones – by Dr. Bob Barnes & Torrey Roberts LIVE THE LIFE . . . . . . . . . . .16 Love Well by Meeting the Need - by Lisa May YOU ASKWHY? . . . . . . . . .18 AGodly Mother’s Greatest Goal – by Dr. Tommy Boland THE CODE . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 Who Do You Say That I Am? – by Dr. O.S. Hawkins HEART AND SOUL . . . . . .22 Unique “Lift Every Voice” Partnership Opens Program for M.Div.– by Dr. Debra A. Schwinn GOOD NEWS WANTS TO KNOW .24 – 26 What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? COVER STORY . . . . . .28 – 30 Women of Distinction 2022 - by Shelly Pond MOVIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30 “No Vacancy” -- AnAmazing True Story of Faith That Works Through Love Stanley Goldenberg INSIGHT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32 Hope Against Hope – by Rob Hoskins CHURCHUNITED . . . . . . .34 Revival Through Discipleship – by Michael Veitz VILLAGE HYMNS . . . . . . . .36 How to Create a New Song – by Julie Anne Vargas FAITH AND VOCATION .38 STEMing with Girls – Susie Cohen LEGAL Q&A . . . . . . . . . . . . .40 Homeowner’s Insurance: “Insuring” You Get Your Money’s Worth – by William “Bill” C. Davell and Ed Curtis CALENDAR . . . . . . . . .50 - 51 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . .58 63 Leslie J. Feldman L to R: Yvokia Davidson, Gita Santangelo, Shelly Pond, Elizabeth Mitchell, Leketia Barner Dozier, and Sandra James (facing away). C O N T E N T S Good News • April • Volume 23 Issue 13

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PERSPECTIVE 8 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition Several years ago, actually 12, the movie “UP” was released by Pixar. The entertaining story about an old man, a talking dog and a little stowaway boy, all floating around in a house tied to hundreds of balloons, takes you on an adventure filled with childlike wonder… sort of like life. One of the more comical elements of the story is the dog, aptly named DUG, who wears a special collar that allows him to speak. However, DUG is often distracted by squirrels. We find him in mid-sentence when he will notice a squirrel, stop, gaze intently at it and simply say, “Squirrel!” The comedic element makes it easy to see ourselves in DUG… easily distracted. Distractions These past few years has presented us with many distractions. The distractions of a global pandemic (and yes, we did have one), political angst (and yes it will happen again), racial divide (and yes, we do have a problem), war (and yes, its ugly), income disparity (and yes, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer), persecution of Christians (yes, it is happening) and more, are obvious. I find that the proliferation of information, content and choices doesn’t help either. Sometimes I have a case of “paralysis by analysis.” However, other times I am overwhelmed by the needs of the people that I know and love. The postings on social media of someone’s pain, the prayer requests and prayer lists and the suggested pod casts, videos and books are all well intentioned, but overwhelming for me. I want to help, but I am limited, yet carry the weight. Our distractions can be good, they can also be not so good, and some can actually be destructive. Sometimes they are expected and most of the time unexpected. Many of my distractions are self-induced, but many are imposed upon me. However, which of these distractions has God placed into my life because He is asking something of me? I chuckle remembering the scene from the 2003 movie “BruceAlmighty” where the character Bruce Nolan, played by Jim Carrey, is trying to be God and finds himself overwhelmed by the yellow Post-It Note prayer requests. Help me Lord! Meanwhile… God has a nice rhythm and seems to not be phased by any of these distractions. He is not surprised, has seen it before and, in fact, warned about it. He knows how we think and act (since He did make us), and He knows our limits. God knows me, and I think I know me, but I really don’t. Our limitations bring us to a place of humility, which in turn will often bring us to a place of less resistance to admit we actually don’t know a lot, are weak and limited. I remember going to meet my grandfather for lunch years ago. I had read a verse in the Bible that referenced end times. However, I was a bit confused about it (most end times stuff is confusing to me) and who better to ask than Billy Graham. During our hamburger lunch at the Marriott, I simply asked him my question. He looked up at me and humbly said, “I don’t know” and kept eating. I actually think that answer was the best one and the right one… and sort of funny. Henri Nouwen, in speaking about maturing as a Christian, makes the following statement: “Both theological reflection and spiritual formation require an articulate not-knowingness and a receptive emptiness through which God can be revealed.” In essence he is saying, the quicker we realize we don’t know much, empty ourselves and simply obey Him, the quicker we grow up as a Christ follower. Events in the early church My desire is to grow up and be in more intimacy with Christ, and yet I can easily find myself saying, “squirrel” and looking in that direction…and not all squirrels are bad. I was reading about the early church, and there is this scene that seems to have a lot of drama. Peter is imprisoned but then is miraculously rescued by an angel. However, James (John’s brother) does not have the same success. He is jailed and then killed. Herod, who is wreaking havoc on the early church, makes a speech one day. People are so awed by his speech they proclaim him god-like; therefore, Herod is full of himself. God has had enough and strikes Herod dead, in a gross way… eaten by worms. God doesn’t like when someone tries to take His place. I just imagined the conversations that the early Christians were having around their dinner tables (imagine if they had social media, 24-hour news and texts). Conversations around the news of Peter’s escape. Questions around why did God help Peter escape but not James. The disappointment for the family of James, who had hoped for the same outcome. Fear of Herod and his antics. Questions around God’s fairness, goodness and care. Suddenly (squirrel)… Breaking News (warning the images we are about to share are graphic in nature). Herod is found dead. Questions abound on what does that mean for the community? How will Rome react? Will the early church continue to be persecuted? How does this affect the economy? …Many squirrels to consider. Meanwhile… However, in the midst of the drama, there is this one statement that stands out. “Meanwhile, the Word of God continued to spread, and there were many new believers.” I like that. Why? I guess squirrels have always been around, and it’s very easy to get caught up in what is happening all around us, especially when its sensational or bad. I am reminded that not much has changed about human nature in 2000 years, but God is the same and He is in control, and He sees all of this and stays faithful…Meanwhile, God loves you. Meanwhile, God provides for you. Meanwhile, God hears you. Meanwhile, God is at peace. Meanwhile, God teaches you. Meanwhile, the Son rises… Meanwhile, God… Stephan N. Tchividjian is the president and founder of the National Christian Foundation South Florida. Visit to learn more. - Stephan N. Tchividjian - National Christian Foundation President Meanwhile…

10 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition IN THE WORD As I write this, the greatest military conflict in Europe since World War II is raging in Ukraine, as fighting with Russian forces continues across a nation the size of Texas, with 44 million people. It has been a brutal conflict, with thousands killed and many more injured. The bloodshed has led to a humanitarian crisis withmore than 3million refugees fleeing into Poland, Moldova, Romania and other European countries. More than 2 million others have been displaced within Ukraine. We have been responding in the Name of Jesus Christ. The Billy GrahamEvangelisticAssociation has been on the ground, sending crisistrained chaplains to offer spiritual and emotional help and also training pastors and church leaders. Samaritan’s Purse has sent planeloads of relief supplies to the region, including an Emergency Field Hospital and several clinics. There are thousands of churches across Ukraine that we have worked with for many years, and we want to do all we can to help them. I don’t support war, and I don’t know of any Christian who does. We pray for peace, not war. That’s why I called on churches across our great nation to join in a day of prayer for those caught in the midst of this tragedy. I knowGod hears and answers our petitions, and we will continue to pray in the days and months to come. Sadly, this conflict reminds us of the horrific suffering that wars have brought across the global stage for all of history. Think of the world wars, conquests, revolutions and civil wars. Think back to the Old Testament and the rise and fall of vast empires, such as theAssyrians, the Babylonians, the Medes and Persians, the Greeks. For hundreds of years, including when Jesus was on earth, the Romans conquered territory after territory. Then came the Mongols, the Ottomans, the Spanish Conquistadors, and on it goes. Death, destruction, genocide, unspeakable brutality, tyrants, dictators. All the wicked fruit of war and conflict. And yet. “…See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows” (Matthew 24:6-8). Until Christ returns and sets up His Kingdom on earth, wars will continue unabated. They are but the birth pangs of this present evil age, growing more intense and more frequent, until our triumphant and victorious King of kings comes again to finally banish every vestige of this sin-stained world. Riding on a white horse, with His robe dipped in blood, and the heavenly armies coming with Him. “In righteousness, [Christ] judges and makes war” (Revelation 19:11). But until then, we are not to be frightened by the uproars and tumult of a world suffering from the evil effects of sin —much less an adversary who seeks to wreak as much havoc as he can until he is defeated once and for all and cast into the lake of fire. The conflict in Ukraine has unsettled not only our own nation, but the entire world. Economic markets have been rattled. For the first time since the end of the Cold War, Europe is faced with a very real threat from the East. The conflict and fighting have upended the stability and security that Europe has enjoyed for decades. As devoted followers of Jesus Christ, we can trust that our Sovereign, Omnipotent Lord is in full control of all events, however troubling the circumstances. “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes” (Proverbs 21:1). “In the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by” (Psalm 57:1). Our Lord and Savior is ever present with us. “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). While we may be deeply troubled as events unfold, our confidence must rest in our God, who rules over all the affairs of men and nations. Above all, we must pray fervently and frequently. Pray for the Lord to protect the innocents caught in the fighting. Pray for the millions of refugees, mostly women and children, who have fled to surrounding countries for safety. Pray that God will somehow bring peace and a cessation of the conflict. Pray for the churches and believers in Ukraine to remain faithful to the Lord and to continue to speak His truth. “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14). Until the end does come, in God’s perfect timing, I will remain fully committed to proclaiming the saving Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. The Gospel is more powerful than armies, mightier than regimes, for it is the only means by which eternal life can be received through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. There are millions of people in Ukraine who face not just physical death from bombs and missiles but everlasting death because their sins have separated them froma holy God. There aremillions of people in Russia who need to personally know the One who has “all power and authority on heaven and earth” and who alone can rescue them from hell. I preached the Gospel in Ukraine a number of years ago in the capital of Kyiv and in Lviv, two of the largest cities in the country. In the midst of nominal historic religion, evangelistic churches have flourished since the fall of the Soviet Union. I proclaimed the Gospel of Christ’s death, burial and resurrection—and thousands made decisions for Christ. Praise God! This summer, I am scheduled to hold a Crusade in one of Russia’s most prestigious cities, St. Petersburg, which the Soviets called Leningrad. Please be in prayer for this meeting, that the Holy Spirit would convict many of sin and bring them to repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. My father preached several times in the Soviet Union. Some criticized him for going there, since the U.S.S.R. was under authoritarian communist rule and the Cold War was raging. But my father knew that the message of the Gospel was for all people, and the people desperately needed to hear the Good News. In 1992, less than a year after the fall of the Soviet Union, my father preached to more than 155,000 people at Moscow’s Olympic Stadium, where more than 42,000 registered decisions for Jesus Christ. “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). These are trying days, but God is sovereign and is working all things together for good (see Romans 8:28). Let us keep our eyes on Jesus and continue to trust Him with all our heart. One day soon, He is coming back and will put right all things wrong. Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version. ©2021 Samaritan's Purse ©2021 Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. BGEA is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Used by permission - Franklin Graham - President and CEO Samaritan’s Purse and Billy Graham Evangelistic Association Franklin Graham: Pray for Ukraine Pray that God will somehow bring peace and a cessation of the conflict. Pray for the churches and believers in Ukraine to remain faithful to the Lord and to continue to speak His truth. ” “ Let us keep our eyes on Jesus and continue to trust Him with all our heart. One day soon, He is coming back and will put right all things wrong.” “

OPINION 12 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition I have always had a healthy respect and appreciation for brothers and sisters who labor in missions all over the world and those who champion the needs of others in the U.S. such as foster care organizations, shelters for men and women, feeding programs, after school programs and local inner-city programs, etc. These programs are the boots on the ground. In spite of the need for “all hands on deck,” the work is plenty, but the laborers are still few. There are so many mission fields, some right in front of us. How many of you know what your mission field looks like? For me, the greatest mission field has always been my neighbors, people right behind me in line at the grocery store, people I see as I run in the park, the young person that needs someone to talk to or the person asking for money at the stop light. Let me introduce you to a mission field that I could not see but was right in front of my eyes. The park In 2018, I began running and walking in the park near my home around 6:30am on Sunday mornings. It was my private space. A moment of peace and quietness to hear from GOD. I always had an agenda of what I wanted to happen in those moments, but sometimes God will change the conversation from what you want to talk about to what He wants. Have you ever had that experience? For me growing up, Sunday morning was always church. No options, you knew what you had to do, especially if you are a “PK” (preacher’s kid). That’s the way I was raised, which conditioned me to think like that. However, things have changed, people have changed, especially after the season of the pandemic. Often GOD will take your strongest issue and use it as a teachable moment to increase you. He teaches us from those places we have made into idols, those untouchable things we have in our hearts - things we refuse to let go of. My mentality was, “You must be in church on Sunday mornings.” This was non-negotiable. I am sure some of you may have shared this mindset also. In 2020, each Sunday morning between 6:30 - 8:30 a.m., I would go jogging at the park. There, I would observe several men gathering; for what, I did not know. At first, I did not pay any attention to it, but as time went on, I began to take notice. What did I see? By 8:15 a.m. that number increased to 25-35 men. By the time I left home headed to church, these same men were gathering to play soccer (I discovered later) instead of being in church. For almost two years I watched this same pattern over and over. I could not get it out of my head. I would say to myself, “Who is talking to these guys about going to church?” I did not know how long they stayed, but by the time I made it back home from church, they were gone. In December of 2021, one Sunday I felt the urge to wait around and be a part of the gathering of these 25-35 men. No one likes to be rejected, so there was some fear and anxiety. Thus, I began to pray about it, and after a few weeks, I felt lead to do more than just observe. Sometimes GOD will ask you to be the one to represent Him. “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and [recognize and honor and] glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16, AMP). An encounter An encounter will always alter your thinking in some way, and this one did. Encounters are not incidental; others will not see it or may not understand it. On Sunday, January 2, 2022, I decide to go where these men were gathering. I did not know what to say, what to do or what to expect. I knew how to play soccer, but I had not played in years. I was in shape but not in “soccer” shape. I did not come equipped to play, and I had jogging shoes on. The first person I met happened to be a Seventh-Day Adventist pastor. He was marking off the soccer field boundaries. I went over and struck up a conversation with him not knowing who he was at the time. That initial encounter led to many insightful conversations. It has been almost five months since I began going to the soccer field at 8 a.m. on Sunday mornings and fellowshipping with these 25-35 brothers. Let me introduce you to what I’ve learned, and it is no different from the fellowship that you would find in church on Sunday mornings. These are some of the brothers, most of them have a nick name. There is Mr. Lenny, known as “Administration,” and Pastor Knorr, known as “Pastor.” In addition, there’s “Stew Peas,” “Gunner,” “Kada,” “Police,” “Sprinkles,” and the list goes on. These brothers come from all walks of life, from various parts of the world, and most of them are family men with children. For them Sunday mornings is a time of fellowship and friendship, talking about what their week was like. They often offer their time, talent and treasure to help each other when a brother is down. They do a youth soccer program for kids, and their wives and girlfriends play net ball from time to time. The group motto is: “One strength makes one.” They have an open-door policy; anyone can join, and their umbrella association is called “Rockerz Sport Group.” There is one constant thing that happens every Sunday morning, before there is any playing of soccer. Administration or Pastor will say “One voice” and everyone will gather in a circle, and Pastor or his assistant will say a prayer over the group. There is much respect at that moment. Every now and then someone will ask me to pray for them on the side. For me the encounter gave me an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, and I discovered some new neighbors. This is the starting point for the Great Commission. There is so much we can learn when we get out of God’s way and join him in His mission. Is that not what the resurrection was about? Christ is bigger than the box we put Him in. John 4:4 says, “Now he had to go through Samaria.” This verse shows that Jesus had options, but He took “the road less traveled” to have an encounter with a Samaritan woman at the well, which broke barriers and boundaries. Newton Fairweather is the pastor of Faith and Joy Church and the CBMC Fort Lauderdale Board Chaplin. The Road Less Traveled - Newton Fairweather - Pastor, Faith and Joy Church and CBMC Fort Lauderdale Board Chaplin The Rockerz Sports Group gathers in a circle.

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14 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition PARENTING There are many milestones in your life where you pause and take stock. For some it is a significant birthday or anniversary. Some pause every New Year’s Day to think through goals for the new year. In our family we recently had one of those events: our son’s 13th birthday. It has made me pause to think how fast it’s gone but also realize how much time is left until he graduates high school. Just five fast years…sigh. Looking back It makes me think back to the baby or family dedication at our church. That Sunday morning before we were presented to the church for prayer, they gave each family a jar of marbles. There were 936 marbles in each of these jars. Each marble represented the number of weeks we had, approximately, from the time our child was born until graduation from high school. It was an amazing visual reminder as you took one marble out each week. I remember when each of our sons turned nine, and I sat looking at a half empty jar. If you couldn’t tell, I am a visual learner. I remembered thinking, startled, how can we be at the halfway mark in third grade?! That number 936 is also a very pointed reminder that our time with our children is fast, and we must be intentional. I remember someone saying to me that the days are long, but the years are fast. This statement couldn’t be truer. In certain stages of parenting, through the lack of sleep, never ending diapers, battling temper tantrums or teenage challenges, it feels like it is never ending. But the years are fast! We have 18 short years training our children. In the length of our lives, it is a very short amount of time. The time we have with our children under roof breaks down to 6,570 days, 936 weeks and 18 summers! This is what hit me as I looked at our 13-year-old son, I only have 5 summers until he is 18. Does that change my priorities? You bet! Looking forward One of the things we say often at Sheridan House is it is never too late - never too late to be a better parent, be more intentional, focus more on training your children. Whether you are looking at all 18 summers left or your final summer with your child, it’s not too late to take a look at the things you need to instill in your child before they leave the home. (If you need a good starting point, our podcast called the 30 Imperatives of Parenting, found on the Parenting on Purpose website, is a great springboard) For me, it’s made me wonder what my son will think as he leaves home. Will he remember the fun times we had as a family? Will he feel prepared? Will he know just how much I love him and how proud I am of the man he is becoming? These last summers, I want to make sure he has the training to be a marriageable and employable adult. I also want to instill those basic life skills to help him breeze through those first few years on his own: simple things like budgeting, separating your laundry and cooking for yourself. I find myself also wanting to prioritize those fun family moments, the game nights and spontaneous ice cream runs. It also makes me really hone down on those things that I still need to focus on training wise. When how much time we have with our kids is brought back into perspective, it really should make us intentional parents. Be intentional As we head into this summer, how are you going to use your time wisely? What are you going to prioritize teaching? How are you going to enjoy your family time? I am excited to be intentional with my time with my kids this summer! Visit for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House FamilyMinistries Marking Major Milestones

LIVE THE LIFE 16 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition God created us for an intimate relationship with Him and others. We are born with biological needs for bonding and closeness. We're physically needy. We need food, clothing, water and shelter to survive. We're spiritually needy. Man needs communion with God and freedom from guilt and shame; we need forgiveness, mercy and grace. We're also emotionally and relationally needy. We need a relationship with God and others. We’re intellectually needy; we’re born with intellectual capacity, but we need instruction and information. Unaware, many of our deepest and most potent desires are wrapped up in our desire to have our needs met through relationships. We want to feel safe and content. We want to experience passion and excitement. We long for acceptance and being appreciated for simply being who we are. Pain pursues pleasure When our needs are met, we feel loved. When our needs go unmet, we feel pain. When we feel pain, we pursue pleasure, and often our pursuit of pleasure takes us to places that ultimately bring us back to pain. Question: If you're hungry and you eat rat poison, will you still be hungry? Answer: No, your stomach is full whether with rat poison or steak. You experience a sense of pleasure because of the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter released in the brain, giving us a sense of pleasure. So, if you eat rat poison because you're hungry and your stomach is full, dopamine is released even though the rat poison will kill you. The same is true in other scenarios. We need and want our sexual desires met. Sexual desires can be met with my spouse, or I can go to another form of rat poison such as pornography and still experience the sense of pleasure that dopamine provides. Dopamine has no morality. So, the question begs: What relational needs give me pleasure, and where do I go (poison) when those needs aren't met? Is it gambling, alcohol, food, sexual addiction, drugs, or my smartphone and computer? Everyone has a threshold of pain. The point to remember is “Pain Always Pursues Pleasure.” When our needs are unmet, we feel pain; when our needs are met, we feel loved. The goal is to guard your heart, spouse and marriage by being INTENTIONAL about meeting the relational needs of your spouse. Some will say that they should meet their own needs or only God can meet all of our needs. Still, if we explore the Scriptures, we'll discover that He often instructs and chooses to involve others in fulfilling our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus," but, in verse 14, Paul says, '"Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles." A renowned psychologist with Intimate Life Ministries, David Ferguson, has outlined ten primary emotional needs noted in the Scriptures. . • Acceptance - Receiving another person willingly and unconditionally, especially when the other's behavior has been imperfect; being willing to continue loving another despite offenses Romans 15:7 “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, to bring praise to God." • Affection - Expressing care and closeness through physical touch, carefully respecting the other person's boundaries; saying "I love you" Romans 16:16 “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Mark 10:16 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.” • Appreciation - Expressing thanks, praise, or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort. I Corinthians 11:2 “I praise you for remembering me in everything and holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you." • Approval - (Blessing) Building up or affirming another; affirming both the fact of and the importance of a relationship. Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." • Attention - Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking thought of another; entering another's "world. "I Corinthians 12:2 “There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other." • Comfort - Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and touch; to hurt with and for another's grief or pain. Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” II Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we receive from God." • Encouragement - Urging another to persist and persevere toward a goal, stimulating toward love and good deeds. I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing." • Respect - Valuing and regarding another highly; treating another as important; honoring another. Romans 12:10 “For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him.” • Security - (Peace) Harmony in relationships; freedom from fear or threat of harm. Romans 12:16 “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.” • Support - Coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance. Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” We all experience all of the above needs at some point, but generally, we have 2-3 needs that are priority needs. I encourage you to evaluate and assess your top three needs and then ask your spouse to do the same. Share your priority needs, and then share how you'd like those needs to be met. For example, a need for support might be fulfilled by asking for help with the dishes. A need for affection might be: hold my hand when we're in public. Remember, when our needs are met, we feel loved. Live the Life South Florida exists to strengthen marriages and families through healthy relationship education, beginning in middle school through senior adults. We are educators, coaches, and pastoral counselors. If you're looking for a clinical counselor or therapist, we are blessed to have many in the South Florida community. We'd be honored to provide you a list of highly qualified and reputable individuals. Visit - Lisa May - Executive Director, Live the Life South Florida Love Well by Meeting the Need

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18 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition YOU ASK WHY A Godly Mother’s Greatest Goal This is the month when we honor motherhood, so I thought it would be a good idea to use a passage from sacred Scripture to set forth a godly mother’s greatest goal. “The mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. ‘What is it you want?’ he asked. She said, ‘Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom’” (Matthew 20:20-21). “Zebedee’s sons” were James and John, who, along with Peter, made up the inner circle of the disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ. John is frequently referred to as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” There has been a great deal of scholarly debate concerning the true intent behind this seemingly audacious request made by the mother of James and John. Did she think her sons were superior to the other disciples? Was she simply trying to push her sons to the front of the blessing line? We can’t be sure exactly what was in her mind, but of one thing we can be certain: Wanting her sons to be close to Jesus is the greatest goal of any godly mother. First, notice thismother’s reverence for our LordJesus.We read that sheapproached Jesus froma posture of kneeling. Shewas living out the truth of the psalmist, “Come, let usbowdown inworship, let us kneel before theLordourMaker” (Psalm95:6).Whatever the reason was behind her request, there can be no doubt that she knew to whom she was speaking. Both her posture and her request make that very clear. Amother’s request Now let’s take a closer look at her request. She wanted her sons to be as close to Jesus as possible. Now, it comes as no surprise to read that “When the ten [other disciples] heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers” (Matthew 20:24). To sit directly next to the King of kings would be the highest possible honor. The disciples surely thought that James and John wanted to exalt themselves above all others. But before we condemn this mother for her request, let us pause to commend her for what she desired was a very good thing indeed. John would later write, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4). Clearly, John’s mother deeply desired “no greater joy” for her sons than that they should be walking with THE Truth, Jesus Christ, the Son of God – ✓ In the Kingdom of Christ ✓ Next to King Jesus Now, don’t miss this: Themother of James and John clearly believed that Jesus would one day set up His Kingdom. Whatever this mother knew and did not know, she believed that Jesus was who He said He was and was going to do what He said He would do — establish His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven — and she wanted her sons as close to Jesus as possible. Is this not the greatest goal for any godly mother? Jesus’ response It is important to point out that Jesus did not rebuke her for her request. “You don't know what you are asking,” Jesus said to [James and John]. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father” (Matthew 20:22-23). Jesus did not turn her down, and He did not put her down. He simply raised the bar and made it clear that there is a cost to being next to Him in His Kingdom. If I were to sum up this story theologically, I might say that the only way you can get to Easter morning is through Good Friday. There will be no crown without a cross for the disciples of Jesus. Yet, in spite of the hatred of this world that will be directed against Christians (John 15:18-19), there is no greater joy for a godly mother than to see her children walking with Jesus. Types of mother From Eve to Sarah to Tamar to Ruth to Bathsheba to Mary to the mother of James and John, mothers have played an incredible role in the story of redemption. There are a few ways to become a mom. First, you can be one biologically, having birthed your own children. Second, you may have adopted a child to raise as your own. Or it’s possible that you have given your blessing to an adopted spiritual child in the faith. But regardless of whether or not you have your own children, every woman is called to be a biblical mom, using your gifts, talents and abilities to help raise children in the faith. And throughout that process of training up children in the way they should go, a mother’s greatest desire should always be that your children would be as close to Jesus as possible. Take note of these words from the psalmist: “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Psalm 84:1-2). Every one of us should feel that longing, that hunger to be in the presence of our Lord. And all of us who are parents should deeply desire that for our children. And I’m sure every godly mother is praying something very similar to the prayer of the mother of Zebedee’s sons: “Lord, please grant that my child/children will see You as lovely and yearn to be in Your presence.” Happy Mother’s Month! This is the Gospel. This is grace for your race. NEVER FORGET THAT . . . AMEN! Dr. Tommy Boland is senior pastor of Cross Community Church in Deerfield Beach ( He blogs regularly at - Tommy Boland - Cross Community Church Pastor

THE CODE 20 May 2022 Good News • South Florida Edition Leadership books are a dime a dozen today. Step into any local bookstore or shop online. You’ll see right away that books about leadership abound. Everyone has an angle. Some authors offer a key to effective leadership. Many writers have come up with a catchy title. But, basically, leaders fall into one of two categories: those who lead according to public consensus and those who lead based on personal convictions. Those who lead according to public opinion wait until the polling data is in so they can see their constituents’ thoughts on a certain issue. Once they have this information, then — and usually only then — will they take a stand on an issue. This is true in every sphere of our lives. It is often more apparent in the political world with politicians who keep their finger in the air to see which way the wind is blowing. But it is also true in family life. Some parents lead by consensus in the home, and that is why so many kids today seem to be in charge of the home. Politicians, parents, and others who want a kinder, gentler leadership role lead according to public opinion. In contrast are those individuals who lead based on personal conviction. Deep in the fiber of their being, they have convictions about what is right and what is wrong, and those convictions dictate their leadership decisions. Those individuals who lead according to consensus help their followers do what they want to do. In contrast, those men and women who lead based on their personal convictions enable their followers to do what they need to do. It was on this very point that our Lord took His disciples away from the Galilean crowds. Thousands of people had flocked to them on the northern shores of the Sea of Galilee, and they had been expending themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Thus, Jesus marched them twenty-five miles north, all the way up to the foothills of Mount Hermon, to the headwaters of the Jordan River. There, around a fire, they engaged in a conversation about true leadership. The question of public consensus First, our Lord asked the question, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” (Matthew 16:13). Do you see that this is a question about public opinion? Jesus wanted His disciples to know what people were thinking and saying about Him. We live in a world today that is still more interested in what men say than what God says. Then He asked His disciples another question. The question of personal conviction Now Jesus’ question was personal and direct: “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15). In the language of the New Testament, the “you” is emphatic: its placement at the front of the sentence gives it significance and weight. Had we been there listening to our Lord that evening, Jesus’ question would have sounded more like this: “What about you, you and you only, you and no one else, you and you alone — who do you say that I am?” How an individual answers this question has eternal implications, and this is the question each person who walks on this planet must ultimately answer. Is Jesus who He said He was when He declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6)? He is still asking, “Who do you say that I am?” In our pluralistic culture, to say that Christ is the one and only way to heaven is akin to waving a red cape in front of a raging bull. People today are far more interested in what men say than in what God says, and we set ourselves up as a target for attack when we state the truth that Jesus is indeed the one and only way to heaven. Yet that is the truth, and we need to follow Simon Peter’s example. When our Lord asked this question, Peter immediately replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16). Following our Lord’s example, Peter used the emphatic you and said, “You, Lord, and You alone, you and there is absolutely no possibility of anyone else, You are the one and only Christ, the Son of the living God.” When we, based on our personal convictions, insist that Christ is the only way to eternal life, we are accused of being narrow-minded. In fact, some consider those of our more theologically conservative friends so narrow-minded that a gnat could stand on the bridge of their nose and peck out of both eyes! But all truth is narrow. Mathematical truth is narrow: two plus two equals four, not three, not five. That is narrow. Scientific truth is narrow: water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit, not 35 or 36 degrees. Historical truth is narrow: John Wilkes Booth shot Abraham Lincoln in the Ford Theatre in Washington. Booth didn’t stab Lincoln in the back in the Bowery in lower Manhattan. So why would be surprised that theological truth is narrow? Jesus Himself invited potential followers to “enter by the narrow gate” (Matthew 7:13). Our religiously pluralistic world is much like the one in which our Christian faith was birthed. In Rome, one can visit the remains of the Pantheon, the temple to all the gods. It was there that the conquered people of the Roman Empire could go and worship the gods they had served, whether they were Jupiter or Juno or whomever. But the conquered followers of Christ refused to have a niche for Jesus alongside those for Jupiter and Juno. These early believers insisted Jesus is the only true God, and many of these faithful gave their lives for that truth. Jesus asked, “Who do you say that I am?” Again, this is the very question each of us will have to answer on that day when we stand before Jesus, who died on the cross as payment for our sins. Public opinion will be absolutely irrelevant. What other people say will be of no help. Your own personal conviction is what will matter. Will you answer with Simon Peter’s great confession when he boldly proclaimed, “You, Lord, and You alone, You and there is absolutely no possibility of anyone else, You are the one and only Christ, the Son of the living God!” (paraphrased). Q&A “Who do you say that I am?” In the early church the key question Jesus asked His followers was, “Will you lay down your life for My sake?” (John 13:38). And hundreds of thousands answered yes and died a martyr’s death. In our increasingly pluralistic culture that affirms all truth claims as equal, the key question for believers today is, “Who do you say that I am?” Jesus did not ask, “Who do you think I am?” or “Who do you wish I were?” Jesus asked, “Who do you say that I am?” What are you telling a lost and lonely world about Me?” We must rise up and answer, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16). Taken from The Jesus Code by O.S. Hawkins. Copyright © 2014 by Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. O. S. Hawkins has served pastorates, including the First Baptist Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and the First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, for more than 25 years. For almost a quarter of a century, he served as president of GuideStone Financial Resources, He is the author of more than 40 books, and regularly speaks to business groups and churches all across the nation. All of the author’s royalties go to support Mission:Dignity. - Dr. O.S. Hawkins - President, Guidestone Financial Resources Who Do You Say That I Am? VIENNA, AUSTRIA - The fresco of Jesus with the disciples of Emausy in Herz Jesu church.