16 APRIL 2026 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition PARENTING Children who grow up in a house of screaming parents often grow up to be screaming parents themselves. The volume and words a parent uses around their children and TO their children have an impact on them. But what about the more subtle things we say? What about the things we say on our phones, when we forget the kids are in the back seat listening? What about the things we say when the kids are in the other room … listening? And they are listening! What do my kids hear when they hear me? What are the lessons we teach our kids … unintentionally? “Lord, may the words of my mouth …be pleasing to you” (Psalm 19:14) as the little ears in my home listen to them. Do my children hear me talk one way at church and another in traffic? Do they hear me talk about the principles of the Bible and then gossip? Am I inadvertently teaching them that I don’t really believe what the Bible says about how we should live… the things we should say and not say. The way we should talk to or about people. How we should deal with conflict. What do my kids hear when my kids hear me? “Respectable Sins” In his book Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges talks about the ungodly living we have come to accept in ourselves. One of those ungodly behaviors is the use of our mouth. One of the greatest traps we fall into is our own “trap.” That’s why James admonishes each of us to be slow to open our “traps” (James 1:19). My children can grow up hearing biblical principles but there’s no greater teacher than observing biblical principles lived out in everyday life. When someone is rude at the store, when someone makes a harsh comment, when someone shares some gossip — in those everyday occurrences, how do you respond? We each have a button… at least I know I do. It’s that button that gets pushed by someone else. They say something to me that offends my pride. In a flash, I forget that my children are in listening range. Worse, I forget my children are “taking notes.” Basically thinking, “Thanks for reading the Bible to us at breakfast this morning. That was nice. But this is really where the rubber hits the road, isn’t it?” Unwholesome talk Paul gives us something that would be worthy of tattooing on the back of our eyelids, in his letter to the church at Ephesus. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV). Not just benefit the people I’m talking to, but also the listeners who are standing within earshot. The children who are learning to communicate in a way that God will bless. One of the most sobering things is listening to how my kids talk to each other. We can try to blame external influences, friends, school, tech, etc., but when you hear your tone in your child, it is a reality check. When I am feeling stressed, and my voice tone comes out sharply, it doesn’t take long for that to be mirrored back in my children. An apology can go along way if you catch yourself responding harshly or not giving your full attention. It is an important lesson we can always be modeling for our children. We aren’t going to be perfect; we are going to mess up, even with how we say things sometimes, but when we mess up, we acknowledge it and apologize. What do my kids hear when they hear me? Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth means that I must do the work to stop anything from coming out of my mouth that won’t teach or benefit anyone who is listening. If I were slow to speak, like it says in James 1:19, then I would think about what I say before the hasty words come out of my mouth. Let’s make sure to be the example of how we want our children to speak. This is an area that will impact their future relationships, parenting and employment. It is worth working on ourselves to be the person we want them to emulate! Visit parentingonpurpose.org for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House Family Ministries What Do Your Kids Hear When They Hear You?
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