MARRIAGE 14 MARCH 2025 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition I was recently asked to share my thoughts on being a good wife. I had to laugh on the inside because I haven’t been a wife in a long time. My first thought was a mental picture of the television show “Leave it to Beaver.” June and Ward Clever lived a very traditional, 1950’s lifestyle and June vacuumed in a dress, heels, pearls and lipstick. Together they had two sons. She was a stay-at-home Mom and Ward appeared every evening in time for dinner with the family, never seeming to be late, hurried, frustrated and neither seemed haggard. No apparent financial burdens and the boys were well behaved. Wow, their biggest challenges were a baseball going through a window or the younger son sneaking in a dog. Being a good wife in that environment would be almost effortless. As wonderful as the program was, it’s not the reality of most homes. Today our married and family homes are much more modernized but also much more complicated. In many homes both mother and father work full-time jobs outside of the home. Many are blended families, necessitating the consideration of extended family relationships, logistics, schedules, traditions and expectations. Some would ask if the definition of a good wife in the ancient days of Biblical Scriptures would apply to our modern society and living arrangements. My answer is yes. Let’s look at examples of good wives in the Bible. A virtuous woman Proverbs 31:10-31 praises a truly exceptional woman. Although nameless, she’s held in high regard by her husband and her community because of her integrity. She looks after the needs of her family and others. Her words are kind. She contributes financially and makes wise decisions. This reflects many modern-day women who are accomplished, balance many responsibilities with skill, and are ideal examples of a virtuous wife. Her example is a reminder that excellence in caring for a family remains timeless. Ruth What about Ruth? Despite her upbringing and her personal uncertainty as a widow, she remained loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi. She is known for the vow spoken in many modern-day weddings: “Where you go, I will go, and your people will be my people.” She was a hard worker with compassion and integrity. Her lifestyle and choices lead her to new beginnings; a second marriage to Boaz where she becomes an ancestor of King David. Abigail Let’s look at the story of Abigail in 1 Samuel 25. Her husband Nabal created a disastrous situation involving David. Abigail courageously intervened and her humility and wisdom brought peace rather than conflict while earning her respect which led to becoming one of David’s wives. Hannah Lastly, let’s consider Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. Hannah was barren and she cries out to the Lord in prayerful dependence for a child as well as pressures and pain caused by comparisons to her co-wife. She vows to dedicate her child to God if He gives her a son. She kept her commitment, bringing him to live and serve in the temple. Her honest vulnerability and steadfast faith under pressure remind us that prayer, persistence and commitment to one’s promises are central to enduring strength. All four of these women demonstrate the qualities in very different settings that are hallmarks of a good wife: faithfulness, humility, integrity, endurance, trust, prayerfulness, compassion, kindness. Jezebel What about a bad wife? The most famous is Jezebel! She was married to King Ahab and openly promoted idolatry and defiance of the Lord’s commandments, leading to moral decay of the people and nation. The book of Proverbs has several passages that suggest living with a contentious wife erodes peace and encourages believers to promote godlessness in our homes. Questions to consider As women let’s take a personal inventory as it relates to our relationships in the home and our patterns as a wife: • Do I deposit a blessing behind me, or am I a spoiler to others? • Is my life a pleasure in my home or a pain? • Do I leave behind peace or turmoil? • Do I model forgiveness or bitterness? • Do I exhibit joy or frustration? • Do I express love or resentment? • Do I scatter contentment or conflict? • Do I serve joyfully or is it an imposition? • Are my words patient and kind or sharp and stinging? • Do I keep my commitments or am I not dependable? • Do I undermine my husband’s authority and role as a father, or do I support his efforts to be a godly leader? • Do I care well for our home and belongings or am I careless with material blessings? • Am I truthful or do I embrace white lies? • Do I promote mutual respect or am I disrespectful? • Am I others centered or self-centered? • Am I prayerful or prayerless? We are all some of the above some of the time, but if there’s a pattern then we have opportunity for growth in our relationships in our homes and as a wife. Transformation and growth require personal reflection and a call to honest selfassessment. We tend to repeat what we’ve experienced. Our families of birth or lack of will often dictate our behavior as adults. While the context has evolved, the core virtues - faithfulness, humility, integrity and love - remain unchanged. Being a good wife isn’t about fitting into a narrow mold; rather it’s about continuously striving to build a home characterized by wisdom, understanding and above all love. We can’t be transformed without the help of the Holy Spirit and the living power of the Scriptures. Roman 12:2 says “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.” The good wife goal “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge it’s rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures” (Proverbs 24: 3-4). Relate Well Live Well (formerly Live the Life South Florida) exists to strengthen marriages and families through skills-based relationship education beginning in middle school through senior adults. We provide workshops for marriage enrichment and HOPE Weekends for marriages needing a deeper work. RWLW.org - Lisa May - Executive Director, Relate Well Live Well Good Wife?
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