MARRIAGE 14 February 2025 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida edition God created us for an intimate relationship with Him and others. We are born with biological needs for bonding and closeness. We're physically needy. We need food, clothing, water and shelter to survive. We're spiritually needy. Man needs communion with God and freedom from guilt and shame; we need forgiveness, mercy and grace. We're also emotionally and relationally needy. We need a relationship with God and others. We’re intellectually needy; we’re born with intellectual capacity, but we need instruction and information. Unaware, many of our deepest and most potent desires are wrapped up in our desire to have our needs met through relationships. We want to feel safe and content. We want to experience passion and excitement. We long for acceptance and being appreciated for simply being who we are. WE WANT TO FEEL LOVED! Some will say that they should meet their own needs or only God can meet all of our needs. Still, if we explore the Scriptures, we'll discover that He often instructs and chooses to involve others in fulfilling our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus," but, in verse 14, Paul says, '"Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles." We need to be intentional about guarding our heart, the heart of our spouse, and the hearts of our family. How? Meet their emotional needs. Ten emotional needs Renowned psychologist David Ferguson has outlined and defined ten primary emotional needs noted in the Scriptures. • Acceptance - Receiving another person willingly and unconditionally, especially when the other's behavior has been imperfect; being willing to continue loving another despite offenses. “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, to bring praise to God" (Romans 15:7). • Affection - Expressing care and closeness through physical touch, carefully respecting the other person's boundaries; saying "I love you." “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16). “And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them” (Mark 10:16). • Appreciation - Expressing thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort. “I praise you for remembering me in everything and holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you" (I Corinthians 11:2). • Approval - (Blessing) Building up or affirming another; affirming both the fact of and the importance of a relationship. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29). • Attention - Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking thought of another; entering another's world. “There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other" (I Corinthians 12:2). • Comfort - Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings and touch; to hurt with and for another's grief or pain. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we receive from God" (II Corinthians 1:3-4). • Encouragement - Urging another to persist and persevere toward a goal, stimulating toward love and good deeds. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing" (I Thessalonians 5:11). • Respect - Valuing and regarding another highly; treating another as important; honoring another. “For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile— the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him” (Romans 12:10). • Security - (Peace) Harmony in relationships; freedom from fear or threat of harm. “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (Romans 12:16). • Support - Coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). We all experience all of the above needs at some point, but generally, we have two to three needs that are priority needs. I encourage you to evaluate and assess your top three needs and then ask your spouse to do the same. Share your priority needs and then share how you'd like those needs to be met. For example, a need for support might be fulfilled by asking for help with the dishes. A need for affection might be: hold my hand when we're in public. Remember, when our needs are met, we feel loved. This Valentines Day love your spouse and family well by meeting their emotional needs. Relate Well Live Well (formerly Live the Life South Florida) exists to strengthen marriages and families through skills-based relationship education beginning in middle school through senior adults. We provide workshops for marriage enrichment and HOPE Weekends for marriages needing a deeper work. RWLW.org - Lisa May - Executive Director, Relate Well Live Well Love Well
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