ENCOURAGEMENT 36 AUGUST 2025 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition My formative years took place midway through the 20th Century in a Latin American nation with a "benign dictatorship" approach to culture, religion and politics. The country's leader at the time was a military figurehead who led for four years and later returned to lead a successful coup against a duly elected president. On the religious front, the Roman Catholic Church served as the de facto conduit for spiritual matters, working closely with the political establishment to insure church and state "peace and prosperity." Our traditions, particularly in interpersonal relationships, favored a "machismo" approach inherited from our Spanish forefathers, where men led but were not particularly called to serve. This strong sense of masculine pride and dominance were the "prevailing winds" when I graduated from childhood to adolescence. "Forced" to engage with the church by my grandmother, it did not take me long to recognize the difference between leadership and service. The town's parish activities were controlled by the bishop in the capital city and carried out locally by the parochial priest, but beyond that, the whole structure was dominated by women. As an altar boy, I recognized the daily attendance at Mass to be predominantly pious females wearing black veils while softly counting beads on their rosaries. All of the duties concerning the physical church, from cleaning to administration, from lighting candles to procuring "holy water" were tasked to the nuns housed at the nearby convent. Not many males were available to praise, pray or produce. Expecting a different outcome upon relocating to this country, I was surprised to see that the church functioned here in much the same manner as it did back home. So, where were the men? Back to church Fast forward twenty plus years during which time I took a hiatus from spiritual activities. Back at church, this time not through coercion but through revelation, I joined a conservative Hispanic Presbyterian chapel that at first glance was in direct contrast to my previous religious encounters. This institution was governed by a board of elders and activities controlled by a group of deacons, all males; "Amen and aaah...men!!" Soon, however, it became apparent that the females were the heart and soul of the operation. They ran all of the prayer groups, their Bible studies were superior to men's classes, they supervised and managed the church school, coordinated awesome retreats and became the financial impetus in the purchasing of the land and the construction of the new church building. And although not as noticeable as in previous years, the attendance was still usually more than two to one women. As we have traversed through the first quarter of the 21st century, the progress in this arena has been modest at best. A study from Hartford Seminary and Barna Research revealed troubling statistics. This Sunday, 25% of married churchgoing women will worship without their husbands; midweek church activities will draw mostly females; over 70% of boys being raised in the church will abandon it during their teens and twenties, many never to return; more than 90% of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians, but only 1 out of 6 attend services on a given Sunday, and fewer than 10% of U.S. Christian churches are able to maintain a vibrant men's ministry for any length of time. American author Leon J. Podles put it best when he wrote that "the modern church is an army of women led by a few male generals." What to do? Why men hate going to church Christian author David Murrow, who wrote the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church," has an interesting perspective on the matter. He asserts that “most men are drawn to risk, challenge and adventure, which are things customarily discouraged in local congregations which offer a safe nurturing community and an oasis of stability and predictability; if we are going to be fishers of men, we need to do a better job considering men's needs and expectations. Unfortunately, like a glove that gradually conforms to the hand of its wearer, Christianity has over time conformed to the needs and expectations of its most faithful constituency, women age 40 and older." Of course, this does not mean that we should add obstacle courses and gun ranges to our worship places simply to make them "male friendly." But we do need to consider how to better attract the "testosterone crowd" to a setting of humility and service without the surrendering of gender traits. My situation is a privileged one given that I belong to two churches. The established one, with a building, pastors, worship team and weekly activities affords me a blessed opportunity to glorify Our Lord and participate in study and worship with my wife, family and fellow brothers and sisters in a holy co-ed setting. Then there is the Tuesday afternoon service where a dozen brothers not only study and share the Word but also worship our Savior and discuss our lives in an intimate and safe setting. Once a week we conduct a group spiritual, physical and psychological accountability session; a serious liturgical service, albeit without the customary bells and whistles. This mini chapel then "bleeds" into the larger one, where men are then confident and prepared to serve Jesus with conviction and without trepidation. Instituting DEI The church then may need to institute their own DEI program, Devout Equity and Inclusion, one with intentionality in bringing together the whole flock. Experience has taught us that congregations with flawed systems in attracting youth and men have a difficult time enduring. Yet churches who provide meaningful individual agendas to cover both men and women, young and old, can unite them on Sunday and Wednesday with a sense of commonality, the adoration of Jesus Christ, while allowing them to retain their identity. The original church was established within this framework; the book of Acts reminds us that "all the believers were of one heart and one mind, shared all they had, and were full of the Holy Spirit while speaking the word of God boldly." Let us return to our roots and be men and women who in unison and without fear stand side by side, revering our Lord and Savior. Omar Aleman is a retired federal agent and consultant. He and his wife Julianne assist and support several Christian non-profit organizations both here and abroad. Back to the Future - Omar Aleman - Aleman and Associates
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