THE CODE 14 november 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good news • South Florida edition “But, meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow laborers. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen” (Philemon 1:22-25). Checkups One of the reasons my family buys our cars from a particular local dealership is because of their dedicated service department and their determined servant spirit. Periodically, I take my car in for a complete checkup. The service manager makes certain my automobile is properly maintained so that as the miles add up, it will continue to run smoothly with minimal mechanical maladies. Like many of you, my wife and I are fortunate enough to own our own home. Or, to be more accurate, the mortgage holder actually owns it. Periodically, we give it a checkup. Recently we made some repairs on the eaves of the roof. It wasn't leaking — yet. Some wood had begun to rot around one of the eaves, and it was only a matter of time before bigger problems would come. So, we did some preventive maintenance. I have a body. Some might argue that at my advancing age, it is not much of one. But it is still a body, nonetheless. Every year I go to my physician for an annual physical. It is quite extensive and takes up most of the day. We make certain everything is in proper working order and seek to detect any abnormalities or possible problems developing. Along with my annual exam, I try to watch my diet and exercise regularly. It is called preventative medicine, and I am a big believer in seeking to practice it. Much of what goes wrong with my automobile, my house, or my body for that matter does so because of one word: neglect. No checkup. No maintenance. No accountability. Accountability - now that is an important word. If it is good for cars and homes and bodies, why is it a forgotten discipline in our personal relationships? It is good for husbands and wives from time to time to push the pause button, sit down, focus, and check up on their relationship with one another. It is good for parents to do the same with their children and for friends to stop long enough to perform some preventative maintenance on long-standing relationships. As Paul concluded his letter to Philemon, he wanted him to know that he was going to hold him accountable and visit to check on his ongoing relationship with Onesimus. He wrote, "Also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you" (Philemon v. 22). That sentence could mean only one thing, and Philemon knew well what it meant. Paul was going to stop in at a later date to check up on the relationship. He was sending a message that he Intended to hold Philemon accountable. Paul was wise. He knew that what went wrong in many relationships did so because of neglect. No accountability. No checkups. No maintenance in relationships. Accountability Accountability is a big part of success in life. We all need it, and more than most of us ever realize. We need accountability in our marriage relationships. Marriages that last are those that practice preventive maintenance and hold each other accountable. When accountability goes, damaged relationships follow quickly. I am accountable to my wife. I do not just go my own way, telling her that what I do and when I do it is none of her business. It is her business. We are one. We have a unique relationship because we are accountable to one another for what we do, where we go, and how we behave. We all know something of accountability. We practice it every day in many various venues of life. We have it at the office. We do not just show up to work on Monday morning whenever we desire or decide not to show up at all. We arrive at an appointed time and work a certain number of hours if we expect to be remunerated for our service. Some of us in sales are accountable for quotas, producing a certain amount of sales and new business. Profitable businesses are successful in large part because of a process of accountability that permeates the workplace. And what about national state, and local governments? As citizens we need laws to govern our behavior and to protect us. We need to be held accountable when we drive through stop signs or exceed the speed limits. A lack of accountability from governments would result in a state of total anarchy. Accountability is a part of our everyday life. In one way or another, we are faced with it at every turn of the corner. And what about the athletic arena? We see accountability playing a huge role there also. If an athlete refuses to attend scheduled practice sessions, he will not see playing time when the real games begin. In high school and college basketball, if a player commits five fouls in a single game, he is disqualified by the referee. All athletes are accountable to their coaches, teammates, officials, umpires, and referees on the playing field. Accountability measures surround us every single day. Many of us have mortgages on our homes that come with regularly scheduled monthly payments. We are held accountable to pay these on time or certain penalties will arise. If we go months without payments, we are in danger of the lender foreclosing on our property. What do these things tell us? Accountability plays a significant part in all we do in life. It is strange that, although we daily practice accountability in virtually every area of life, when it comes to personal relationships with friends, most of us seem to see no need for it. It is little wonder we have an epidemic in our world of short-term relationships that never evolve into long-term ones. If accountability is imperative for government, education, athletics, health, and business dealings, it is also an imperative incentive for developing lasting positive and productive relationships that stand the test of time. When I was a new believer still in my teen years, I met and made a best friend whose friendship has lasted across the decades. Jack Graham and I began to take note of what was happening around us. We watched some of our classmates literally destroy their young lives through alcohol, drugs and illicit sex. Although as teenagers we did not know what to call it, we entered into an accountability relationship with one another, determined to help each other. We made a promise to God and to each other to keep ourselves pure and clean. We held one another accountable, and to this day, more than five decades later, he remains a friend who "sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24) and to whom I remain accountable. As we each look back over our lives, we can attest to seeing many destroyed relationships in the lives of others, and perhaps a few In our own were left stranded along the way. What destroys our relationships? The answer can be found in attitudes of self-reliance, selfrighteousness, self-sufficiency, and self-centeredness. Accountability has become the lost word in many relationships, with devastating results. The lack of it has been the downfall of so much potential and promise. Accountability is the “ability” to be open and allow a small number of trusted, loyal and committed friends to speak truth into us in love. We should only be accountable to those who have our best interests always in mind. We all need a person from whom we can receive wise counsel and willing correction. Perhaps there is no other word as feared by some as that word accountability. It is against our very nature to want to be held accountable for anything, especially related to our own actions or attitudes. Some of us fear it because we mistake it for something else. Some of us may think it means only put-downs, criticisms or rebukes from those who seem to take delight in seating themselves in some kind of chair of judgment of others. Remember, we are talking about accountability from a very select, limited number of true friends who always have our best interests at heart-much like the relationship of Paul and Philemon. Relationships are doomed to defeat without the element of accountability. We all need it. Three important views Paul was signaling in this section of his letter that accountability in our relationships calls for three important views. First, insight. Paul concluded this letter by letting Philemon know he was coming by to check up on how things were going with his relationship with Onesimus. Hindsight also plays a role in effective accountability. It involves an investment of time and interest. We need to have the hindsight to see that every arena of our relationships (affirmation, forgiveness, acceptance, and commitment to one another) that Paul had previously addressed is of vital importance. Finally, Paul was signaling here that foresight is imperative. Paul concluded his letter with the prayer that grace might rest upon his trusted friend. We need the foresight to see that we all need a little more grace to make our relationships what God intends them to be. Accountability. We all need it. Don't leave home today without it. Taken from The Connection Code by O.S. Hawkins. Copyright © 2023 by Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. O. S. Hawkins is the chancellor of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has served pastorates, including the First Baptist Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and the First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, for more than 25 years. He is the author of more than 40 books and regularly speaks to business groups and churches nationwide. All of the author’s royalties and proceeds from the Code series support Mission:Dignity. MissionDignity.org. - Dr. O.S. Hawkins - Chancellor, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary Accountability: Don’t Leave Home Without It
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