12 JULY 2024 www.goodnewsfl.org Good News • South Florida Edition PARENTING When I first arrived at Sheridan House, I spent some time with my predecessor about the duties of the executive director of the ministry. Driving home from the office, I felt somewhat discouraged. It seemed the job description indicated I would have to spend all my available time “putting out fires.” The next six months proved my expectations correct. Feeling like a fireman, I was simply putting out one fire after another without having any time to do prevention work. I began to feel that either I was incompetent, or the job could not be done. An overwhelming task The sense of being overwhelmed is shared by many parents. Without question, the responsibility of training a child is an awesome task. There is probably not a parent to be found anywhere who feels totally adequate at parenting. But it is a responsibility that all parents must accept as a priority in their lives. Almost all parents acknowledge the difficulties involved in dedicating the proper time to parenting. Some parents become so overwhelmed that they back away from parenting and focus on other less demanding responsibilities. For these parents the fires just keep getting bigger and bigger until their crisis intervention style of parenting gives way to disaster in the home, and they completely give up. A parent cannot decide one day to teach everything their children need to learn and then simply step out the next day and accomplish it. That cannot be done no matter how many parents are in a home. Developing a workable, day-to-day plan to train up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6, KJV) takes time and step-by-step planning. Step by step Years ago I decided that it was a must for me to begin jogging to stay in shape. Now that I look back on it, the real reason I wanted to jog was that it was “the thing to do”— and I certainly wanted to be in vogue. With my motivation all wrong, I began the next day as if I were a jogger. Three miles seemed a reasonable distance for a jogger to run. So I got up at dawn and trotted out the door to join the ranks of joggers. As I turned on to main street, I passed my first half mile, and I began to wonder if that could really have been only a half mile. Later I jogged by the marker I had designated for my first mile. At this point I could no longer feel my feet, and I was gasping for air, but I was determined to push on. I must have become delirious at some point because I do not remember when I turned off to take a short cut back to my house. Half an hour of “jogging” brought me back down my street. When I reached my front lawn, I fell to my hands and knees and threw up just in time for a friend to drive up and ask me what I was doing. Gasping, I replied in a very unfriendly voice, “I’m jogging.” Obviously, my embarrassing story illustrates how not to attempt a life-changing project. It cannot be done all in one day, but instead it takes small steps combined with a long-term commitment. After calling in sick that day, I later learned from a friend that joggers tackle one block at a time! Step 1: Motivation Parenting also begins one block at a time. The first block or step is to check the philosophy of life being exemplified in the home. Does the parent truly place Christ as the top priority and set aside time for family devotions? This is the first and most important aspect to be mastered. I jogged for only a month or so because my motivation had been wrong in the first place. My primary motivation to run had not been out of devotion to God. In fact, I had never even discussed my jogging with God. I was going to jog because it “seemed like the thing to do.” Our contemporary society says as much about developing yourself. “Be number one, rather than spend time developing your children.” Fortunately, the pendulum is starting to swing back toward family values, but parents still have a strong tide to buck. It will take strength and fortitude for you to dedicate yourself to training your children. That strength comes as you seek God’s wisdom and support on a daily basis. A growing faith in Christ and making a relationship with him the top priority — these are the motivating forces that will endure. Step 2: Consistency But how does a parent stop being a crisis parent? First, pray and work hard to develop a suitable plan for your family — one that honors God. Then take the second step and begin parenting in a consistent manner. When one day does not seem to work out right, don’t give up. The next day continue your journey as a parent. Most importantly, dedicate yourself to trying to parent with God as your Motivator. Depend upon Him for encouragement. The journey is accomplished one step at a time, one day after another, hand in hand with your children and the presence of the Lord to lead the way. Visit parentingonpurpose.org for more advice from Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts. No Longer a Crisis Parent - Dr. Bob Barnes and Torrey Roberts - Sheridan House Family Ministries
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