Good News FL

GoodNewsFL.org 27 FEBRUARY 2018 ENCOURAGEMENT Happiness is one of the goals that most people put at the top of their list. Most people think they will be happy when they get the right things and the right people in their lives. However, if happiness comes from outside circum- stances and other people, we will only be happy to the extent that we can control all these things. This means our happi- ness will always be fragile since we know we have little or no control over others or events. What can be done? The key to happiness is realistic expectations and committed acceptance of a community of imperfect peo- ple. If we can increase our tol- erance and accept others just as they are, we will see our happiness increase. Donald Miller, in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, summarizes this idea in the following comment: “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting material possessions to com- plete you, you’d be surprised at how much pleasure you get in material possessions. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you’d be surprised how much you like spending time with God.” If we expect perfection from people, circumstances or things, we will get nothing from them emotionally. But if we have more realistic expec- tations, we will appreciate who people are and the circum- stances we have. Even our relationship with God is impacted by expecta- tions. If I wake up every morn- ing expecting God to give me paradise on earth, I am going to be mad at Him all day for not doing a very good job. But if I accept the fact that I live “East of Eden” with Him, my day becomes more enjoyable and I can appreciate my fel- lowship with Him in the difficult world. What would this look like? 1. Understand that God offers great emotional peace and joyful confidence, and that He is at work in bad circum- stances. Never expect perfect health, wealth or prosperity in this life. 2. Understand that mar- riage and family offer a fellow- ship of companionship and mutual “as is” love, but we enjoy this with people who are wounded, weak and wicked. 3. Understand that God al- lows us to have things of beauty and joy in this life, but also times of hardship. Materi- alism, where we are owned by our possessions, soon kills our contentment. Desire less and enjoy what you have more. 4. Understand that we cannot be everything and do everything. We are limited. We must focus on a few things while we are required to do many. We will not be great at everything and we must be OK with that. 5. Understand that people are wonderful, yet struggling. Don’t expect perfection. Re- member the mercy God has shown you in forgiving your sins in Christ Jesus and give others the same leeway to be less than perfect. Accept them by grace and not by their per- formance. 6. Understand your need for grace also. Self-condemna- tion does not make you a better person. It does, however, in- crease your stress. It is hard to be happy when you hate that God has made you. God most likely has less on His task list for you to do today than you put on yourself, in many cases. Enjoy life by resting in your freedom in Him. You are free from condem- nation, free from having to com- pare yourself with others and free from having to perform to earn His love and grace. 7. Remember God’s big plan. You are part of that big plan. You are important enough to have Christ Jesus die for you so that you can be forever with God in that big plan. Today is easier to handle when we keep things in perspective. How do we find happi- ness? We don’t find content- ment and joy by looking for everyone and everything to change. Instead, we find hap- piness by appreciating what we have and having realistic expectations about East of Eden living. Dr. Norman Wise is the Ex- ecutive Director of Living Water Christian Counseling and host of “Ask the Counselor” on GraceNetRadio.com. Living Water can be reached at 954- 726-2303. Learning How to Be Happy Dr. Norman Wise Gateway Counseling Center