GoodNews Florida

FAMILY 38 DECEMBER 2017 Good News • Broward Edition In 2015 IKEA, the Swedish ready-to-assemble furniture re- tailer, asked “Why do we insist on not giving our children the gifts they really want for Christ- mas?” To answer this question, IKEA created an experiment in which children from 10 different families were asked to write two separate letters: one to Santa Claus and the other to their par- ents. As expected, to Santa Claus, kids requested everything from the latest tech to a unicorn. In the letter to their parents, kids wrote, “I want you to spend more time with me… that we do more experiments at home… I’d like it [if] you paid a little bit more atten- tion to us… have dinner with us more often.” Other children asked to be tickled more, have a story read to them or simply spend the whole day together. By the conclusion of the ex- periment, parents discovered the best they could give their chil- dren is themselves. This lesson is every bit ap- plicable to those parents with teens — minus the tickling. In light of the IKEA experi- ment, consider gift ideas that honor God while creating a memorable Christmas for your children and teens. Gift an experience Whether it’s a family ski trip or simply watching “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” together for the billionth time, be- ginning a family tradition elevates presence over presents. Does this really work? Yes. A father of a young teen I was mentoring con- fessed that because of his son’s affinity for expensive shoes, he could not afford new clothing for himself. While I appreciate this fa- ther’s sacrificial sentiment, unbe- knownst to him, what his son really wanted was to spend time at the gun range together. Gift their love language Gift items that speak your child’s or teen’s love language. In The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively, Gary Chap- man writes, “Modern technology is exposing our teens to the best and worst of all human cultures.” As such, he believes there has never been a greater need for parents to “assume their role as loving leaders in the home.” Giv- ing gifts that speak their love lan- guage is the most effective manner in which to refill a teen’s emotional “love tank.” Gift a better story Dr. Tim Elmore, in his book Habitudes for Communicators: Images That Form Leadership Habits and Attitudes, shares of a father “grieving” his daughter’s choices that did not align with “any of the family’s values.” The solution came when the father realized “everyone wants to be a part of a story that is interesting and compelling” — a life that is a part of the solution to a problem. The daughter eventually, on her own accord, chose to abandon her old lifestyle because “she found a better story at home.” A gripping story centered around loving and serving others as a way of life. Gift without strings attached Attaching emotional strings to giving is a hidden manifesta- tion of control; it can morph into manipulation that increases the Give Teens What They Want This Christmas C.J. Wetzler Good News (Continued on page 39 )